"I grew up watching TV and I turned out TV" -- Homer Simpson
I am getting pretty sick of hearing "NO TV!" I get that studies have shown that the correlation between TV watching and obesity is high and that children who watch television talk later and apparently NEVER read. I understand that parents complain that their kids don't want to play outside because of video games and television shows. However, I don't think we can entirely blame this on television. I think a lot of this also has to do with how people parent their kids.
I think it's time that I talk about my own experiences. The quote I started this post with? Describes both me and Todd. We both grew up with TVs on constantly. I watched Sesame Street and and Mr Rogers and Reading Rainbow. I also watched Looney Tunes, The Simpsons, Beavis and Butthead, The Smurfs and does anyone remember The Snorks? I had parents that, despite doing EVERYTHING else wrong, focused on teaching me right from wrong and turned television into learning experiences. There was rarely "passive" television watching in my house. TV wasn't really limited and the rule was, I did my homework and then I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. I didn't turn out to be a psychopath, exceptionally violent, or delayed at all.
When I was in first grade, we had "buddies" from the third grade classes that would come in and read to us once a week. I could read as well or better than these kids. When I was in second grade, I was one of these buddies because I was too bored during the other reading periods. I was also a buddy in third grade. In 4th grade, I was reading at a middle school level and things just progressed from there. I read A LOT. I also watched a lot of TV and played video games a lot. I still read, watch an insane amount of television and enjoy playing the occasional video game.
I also played outside a lot. It was more fun. "In my days..." our restrictions were be home by dark and to let my parents know if we went out of earshot. I think parents now are honestly hesitant to allow their kids the freedom of simply running around. I think it's terrible that schools have cut back recess and PE. There simply isn't enough unstructured playtime anymore. Even in our own backyard, there is a lot to worry about. I think it's kind of sad. Jack LOVES to play outside but I'm so allergic to everything, I know he doesn't get to do it as often as he would like. I feel horribly guilty about this, but I get so miserable that it's just not possible for outside to be an everyday thing.
Jack loves to watch anything animated. However, given the choice between a noisy, interactive toy and TV, he will play with the toy. He reads books. He talks, I talk back to him. He barks at Pluto, so he obviously recognizes that Pluto is a dog. During shows, when the characters are counting or working on colors or letters, I make a big deal out of the reactions. Jack can identify the red ball from the blue ball. He knows big and small.
Granted, I am not a scientist, but I think that there is a big difference between passive and active television viewing. It's also dependent on the child's mental development and attention span. The studies show that under the age of two, passive television viewing is not a learning tool and they view children watching television or movies and then ask a series of questions. As far as I can tell from reading the studies, these are not children with parents that are sitting there talking to them as the show is on. Yes, I use Mickey Mouse and Sesame Street as learning tools. I use them as a way to interact with my child and teach him counting and the alphabet. I don't plop him down in front of the TV so that I don't have to play with him. If I leave the room to pee or shower, 9 times out of 10 I come back and he is playing with toys facing away from the television. The one time?? He's usually not feeling well and is having a bad day. Yes, he will get sucked in if it's something he REALLY likes (OMG Lego Harry Potter-he now goes "hmmm uh-uh" or "aha!") and I will allow this to happen because he is enjoying it.
We do not eat meals in front of the television. TV is turned off during lunch and dinner. I usually turn one of our music channels on during most of the day and enjoy my crappy reality TV while he is napping. I read an article that said even having the radio on can damage a child's ability to have "me" time. Seriously? I would go INSANE if I didn't hear something during the day.
Here's a thought. When you say "go do something besides TV!" and your kid complains "ugh, it's boring" then take a few minutes to interact with them. It's okay if dinner if 20 minutes late. Do a puzzle, throw a ball, get messy. I am not a very good "quiet time" person, so I will say make some noise. I encourage Jack to play with pots and pans and spoons. He loves it. I encourage him to splash in the tub or make messes because life's too damn short to worry whether every little decision I make during the day is going to harm him somehow. This doesn't mean that I let him play with knives or that I'm not teaching and learning with him. It means that I'm not going to sweat the small stuff.
