4 Mondays Left

I am so tired

This baby is almost here. I'm 35 weeks today. That means I have FOUR! Mondays left before she arrives. FOUR! I'm not sure if you can count, but that's 1, 2, 3, FOUR! 

I'm not entirely convinced I'm going to make it. I am so tired. I slur speech I'm so tired. I forget words, names of my loved ones, and cannot remember things. I am so tired. Have I said that yet? I go to bed between 10 and 11. Possibly stay up to 11:30 and wake up at 8, forcefully.

In other news, Nina's head is incredibly low. So low that bending over has become nearly impossible without pain. Her feet and butt are up a bit higher. The good news is I can eat food without constant indigestion and heartburn. The bad news? I can't sit up straight in order to eat the food. I'm best at a slightly reclined level of sitting. 

My NST today and 36 week appointment was good. Baby is good, nice and reactive, my blood pressure was 138/78, which is a bit higher but about what it's been running at home. I got my 36 week goody bag from the OB office which included the birth certificate paperwork, preterm labor sheet, hospital packet, and formula samples. I know I'll be breastfeeding again, but it's nice to have some formula on hand for just in case moments. Like when my milk isn't really in and I'm too dead to wake up to feed baby and Todd takes over for a nightly feeding. We're looking to avoid the 2 week night time breakdown of "I can't do this, I'm soooo tiiiiiireeeeed!" this time around. 

What's left to do? Organize. We need a place for the pump parts and bottles. We need to wash bottles and see if I need to order more in the event of leaking. They've been sitting for over a year and a half. Who knows what could happen during that time?

This post is useless. I'm so freaking tired that I have nothing creative to write. Sorry about that. Maybe next time :)

Pregnancy Brain, or Why I Should Not Be Allowed to Cook While Pregnant

I've posted a lot about food in the last few months. We tried freezer cooking, successfully I might add, I've discussed my aversions and cravings. However, I think it's time to share my cooking failures.

Mostly, I'm a pretty good cook. I tend not to experiment a lot because I'm a somewhat picky eater. I let my nose guide me and if it smells funny I won't eat it. No sushi, no Indian food, no to certain cheeses, etc. I'm a "traditional" foods kind of girl. Thankfully, I married a man whose food preferences are very similar to mine.

When I was pregnant with Jack, I burned breadsticks. Not just burned, but full on lit on fire. See, we had gotten a toaster oven for Christmas, and it was a rather small one. Perfect for reheating pizza, baking biscuits, etc. just what we needed it for. You know what should NOT, under most any circumstances go into a tiny toaster oven? Olive Garden breadstick bags. The number of meals burned (lit on fire, whatever, semantics) can be counted on one hand. The number of meals ruined in general, could be counted on one hand until my current pregnancy. (BTW, this does not include potatoes au gratin from a box. I can't make those for the life of me.)

In the last few months, I've burned lasagna, I made the world's most tasteless chicken dish, I failed to turn on the crock pot (thankfully that was a short cook meal and we just ate late), I made the mistake of trying something without a recipe and failed at that, too. I guess it's a good thing, a learning experience even, that I accepted these failures and rectified the situation by taking my family elsewhere for sustinence.

Where is this going? Why do you care about my cooking skills? Because tonight, I made a delicious roasted butternut squash. Prior to this evening I have not ever enjoyed butternut squash. The few times I've tried it has been at someone else's experimentation and has been over seasoned, too mushy, undercooked, or just plain gross. (I'm so sorry if those people read this post, I'm fairly certain the meals were prefaced with "this was an experiment" and the rest of your meals were mostly delicious, I am picky, sorry.) I have been getting much braver experimenting with fresh vegetables. Farm fresh, from the local farm down the road. So much that I want to purchase a CSA share for next summer. I admit, I much prefer summer vegetables over winter vegetables.

I want Jack to start eating, and enjoying, vegetables. I think by using fresh colorful veggies would be best. We offer him some type of vegetable at most every meal. Usually they're just ignored. He does enjoy corn on the cob, but fails to recognize that the kernels are the same thing as loose corn. I don't know how I got a kid who doesn't like vegetables. I love most of them, Todd tolerates them, but Jack just won't even touch them. I am envious of people who brag that their toddler loves salad, or broccoli.

34 Weeks

 Today we had my cousin Bruce over to do some maternity photos and attempt to capture Jack's 30th month on Earth. He does all of our family photos since we've moved out here and shot our wedding. Usually at these things, I have plans and props. I had nothing today, which is good because nothing would have gone as planned. Considering we got photos of Jack at all is a testament to our fabulous photographer.

First up, though, is a gratuitous (unlike all of the other weeks I've posted) belly shot. I can say that I now feel as big as I look. It's amazing what happens over the course of a week; or day, actually, my belly was cute yesterday. I feel swollen and puffy today. My doctor is right; I'm going to be horribly uncomfortable when/if I make it to 39 weeks. This kid is running out of room very quickly.

34 Weeks

I'm going to post a few of my favorites.

One of two where Jack is actually happy to be looking at the camera.
The other is for his 2.5 year photos so I'm not sharing it on the blog yet.

We have fun

Please understand that I have no photoshop skills.
The top of Jack's head will just have to be ignored for now.

I get it, we're ready for Nina to emerge,
but Jedi mind tricks won't work.

My Mama! MAMAMAMAMA! 

I have no doubt that these photos will be all randomly placed once I post this. We had a lot of fun this morning getting the pictures. I have much better ideas for Christmas photos and fully intend to medicate Jack so that he is obedient and docile during the pictures (okay, I'm kidding, but the kid was a maniac today!)

I attempted to get a couple of Jack in his Halloween costume. Even with an M&M and Pez bribe, he had the tantrum to end all tantrums. He screamed like the costume lit his little 27lb body on fire and was melting into his skin. He was happy (as you can tell from the first photo) that he was allowed to put normal clothes on. He had a couple of different outfit changes mostly because my only plan was to have his 30 month photos in the plaid shirt and our family photos in the red shirt. I should know this by now, but kids have no concept of plans or order or pregnant mommy's insanity. 

I will update again tomorrow as we have an ultrasound and NST in the morning. Which I will be attending BY MYSELF because my husband "has to work" or something. It's a late morning ultrasound, so my mother in law will be on standby to pick up Jack from daycare if my appointment runs late or if we find out something is funky with the baby. 

UPDATE 10/15:

Baby is measuring 5lb12oz. Yay! My placenta works still! She performed quite well on her NST and we were in and out of the OB office in under an hour. My blood pressure wasn't great but it was not horrible either.

Here is a foot (I hope...I'm editing from the blogger app and cannot adjust where I want photos to go)

33/34 Week OB appointment

Had my 33/34 week OB appointment today. Went in feeling dizzy and seeing spots. My blood pressure was 151/87 before I left the house and was 144/84 at the doctor's office. I left after I was feeling better. They were nice and rescheduled tomorrow's NST for today so I didn't have to go in 4 days this week!

Baby Nina is perfect. Her heart rate, NST reactivity, and growth are all fine. I'm measuring back on target, so my fluid levels must now be back to normal. Me? Not so much. I'm a mess.

I don't know if it's just the knowledge from Jack's pregnancy that things can go from "normal" to "oh shit, let's have a baby" in less than 24 hours, but I feel like I'm constantly anxious that something wrong is going to happen in the next couple of weeks that would result in Nina coming before 36/37 weeks. The NPs and my doctor all try to reassure me that there's nothing showing that Nina is going to come early. Logically, I know this. I know that I can make it to 37 weeks if not all the way to my c-section. Well, the emotional part of my brain has all but murdered the logical part.

I've been so focused on what it means if she comes early that I haven't been focusing on what I'm doing right: drinking a crap ton of water, resting as much as possible (with Jack suddenly not letting anyone besides me change his diapers, I'm up a few extra times a day, but I'm trying and that's what counts), and going to bed around 11 every night and occasionally napping with Jack during the day, I'm doing pretty well. I was informed today that for each extra day I manage to keep my baby inside, it's 2 days off a potential NICU stay if she does come early (which she won't, I know, I know, I'm trying) and that even if she comes tomorrow (which she won't, etc), babies at 33 weeks do extremely well and we'd worry most about her lung development. I was also reminded that at 36 weeks, babies rarely spend any time in the NICU at all. Also, instead of my thinking in terms of Mondays, I was reminded that 36 weeks is ONLY 2.5 WEEKS AWAY, THE FU....? Remember, Jack was born at 36.5 weeks. That's only 3 weeks out. Oh my heavenly angels above.

Jack was perfect at 36.5 weeks. He was a healthy weight for his gestational age, was more full term than not so he never had an adjusted preemie age. He hit every milestone (except language) on or before the average. He's brilliant. I shouldn't worry as much about his sister.

Except? I do. I worry that I've been to stressed and worried during this pregnancy that poor Nina is going to be a high maintenance baby and it's going to be all my fault. I've tried to be relaxed. The first trimester was the hardest. I was a nervous wreck at the possibility of her being another ectopic pregnancy that I cried a lot before I started feeling her move. I kept my mouth shut until after the first ultrasound showing she was planted squarely in my uterus and not my remaining tube. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep secrets? I'd be a terrible spy.

We're going to get Jack a pumpkin. He's been obsessed lately. I honestly think that keeping me busy is the best way to relax me and not have me sit sedentary on the couch all day worrying about kick counts or calculating the earliest she can come without NICU time. Seeing my boy light up instantly relaxes me. This will be a good day!

Verbal Skills

Since we "invested" in an iPad, I've been negligent in keeping track of Jack's word list, which is on my netbook. I am going to start posting updates here (hopefully weekly!) in order to remember where he is at in language development.

This week, Jack has been working on putting sentences together and is really focusing on his colors and additional sound effects. He tries to "count" but the words aren't quite there yet. For now he just points and screams various forms of "oh" "ah" and "oooh".

Colors:
Yellow (pronounced either yawl or yelly)
Green (geen!)
Blue (ooooh or boo)
Brown (bown)
Pink
Orange (owe-ie)
Red (woo or something similar)

Newly understood words:
Owl (every time he says this I think he says "ow" until I notice the owl. He now enunciates with "hoo! hoo!" for his moron mommy)
Dowdy appears to be "sound" and is said in frustration when he can't hear Angry Birds
Boo!
Got it! (Best thing ever. Sounds like "gawddit!")
Binky (but usually just asks for them by color)
E sound for "ear"
Node for "nose"
Maow for "mouth"
Cheese

He is putting descriptors with his nouns. We get "geen tuck!" Or "owe-ie choo choo" a lot. He points out all trucks on the road. He is starting to say things like "no cat!" and "hi Z!" and he does still follow up with a lot of gibberish, but he's getting a lot clearer. A lot more of our day is listening and responding instead of saying "I don't understand Jackenese, please translate to English." When he cries, he says "eye" and rubs away the tears. He turned a chip into a train tonight. Early imaginative play is awesome to watch develop.

He's starting to really come into his language. Granted, he is still not a big word mimicker, but he repeats every sound effect introduced to him. I think he will end up being artistic. He likes music, drawing, sounds. Maybe he'll end up working on animated movies/shows as the sound guy. All I know is he's really starting to become an actual little person and less of a blob that occasionally cries or whines. I hope he continues to be as awesome as he is now and becomes an excellent role model for his baby sister, whenever she arrives!

6 More Mondays

33 Weeks and I actually like this picture

We have just 6 short weeks until my scheduled c-section and 4 weeks until I'm comfortable with her coming early. I swear I don't feel as big as I look. I don't know what it is about mirrors, but they kind of suck. I could actually see my feet yesterday morning. On the other hand, some shirts are getting shorter on me. I wore a different shirt than the one in the photo today and my belly kept poking out.

Had my NST at the hospital today. We were in and out. Under 1/2 an hour total to trace the little mover. The woman next to me's baby was a mover, but not enough so they sent her to ultrasound. My mother in law said she was very upset. I remember when Jack wouldn't react after about an hour they would send me to ultrasound. I wish I had eavesdropped a bit better and let her know that in our case everything worked out. I hope she and her baby are okay.

I cheated a bit on my bed rest today. We went to the outlet mall to look at some Halloween costumes for Jack and found nothing. I did find a coming home outfit for Miss Nina at the Children's Place. I promise I've been restful since we got home. Jack, on the other hand, skipped a nap today. I'm pretty sure I can count the number of skipped naps on one hand total. We're going to try and get him down for bed early.

I'm starting to get the "anytime now, eh?" comments from strangers. I repeat, I don't feel as big as I look, so I'm always a bit taken aback when someone says that to me. I am not offended, especially when the comments come from men (because seriously, how would they know?!). I just honestly don't feel like I look big enough to pop yet! My belly button is flat, and sometimes is even almost an innie depending on how Nina is positioned in my belly. I weigh less than what I did with Jack at this point, but only by a couple of pounds. I think, especially if I go to my c-section, that I will meet or surpass my full weight with Jack. (And hope to lose it as quickly too. With Jack, I was down to my "prebaby" weight at 2 weeks postpartum. Go breastfeeding! Of course, my body was a different shape, but whatever.)

I have an OB appointment and additional NST later this week. Will update at that point.

7 More Mondays

32 weeks!

So, here we are. 32 weeks. That's 8 months pregnant. If Nina were to come this week, our biggest concern would be lung development. At 32 weeks (33 if we go by my perceived due date) we have passed the scarier of potential problems: brain bleeds and eye related issues. 32 weeks would mean time in the NICU, but not months and months. 

I'm not concerned that Nina will be coming this week. I fully intend to make it to at least 37 weeks, if not my c-section date. Despite how uncomfortable I may be, I would rather have another 36w5d "late term" preemie than a 32 week preemie. Interesting fact, according to the March of Dimes website, babies brains at 35 weeks are only 2/3 the size they are at 40 weeks.  That's a lot of growth, little one, and its absolutely necessary to avoid those scary diagnoses that come with tiny preemies. 

Why am I not concerned? Well, my medication seems to be doing the trick. I have my wonderful mother-in-law here and just knowing that she's here if I need to be rushed to emergency surgery is probably the most calming thought I've had in the last week. Nina performed this morning at my NST, meaning we were essentially in and out of the doctor's office. My blood pressure was low, I have been feeling better in general being on the medication. Jack also starts 3 days a week at daycare, so I have an additional morning of downtime which doesn't involve rushing to the OB office. I'm definitely not going to be doing anything strenuous with my morning, but it's nice to have some time to myself to relax. 

After looking at wood kitchen sets, I was unable to find something I want in the $80-110 price range I was looking at. We ended up buying a plastic set from Toys R Us that wasn't too large or busy. I had resigned myself to having it in the corner of the room. Today, because going home after my NST would have been a waste of energy before picking up Jack, we stopped at Sweet Potato. And there, in all its woody glory, was a white wooden kitchen set with separate fridge. For $25 less than what I paid for the plastic one. I called Todd and he told me to go for it. We have Jack's Christmas present all set. We will be asking for Melissa and Doug foods and kitchenware for Christmas this year. I wanted something that would last two kids and that was nice enough to look at.