Jack's Second Year

Dear Not-So-Baby Jack,

It's 2012 and tomorrow you are turning two years old. I don't know where time goes. Just last week you looked so small to me. Now, I can see subtle changes in your face. You're thinning out and losing some of that babyness that I love so much. You're growing up and turning into such a Big Boy!

I don't even know where to begin. We've managed to keep you alive for TWO! WHOLE! YEARS! You've attempted to thwart our efforts many, many times. Hey, remember the week before Christmas when you fell and bonked your eye on the train table and got your very first shiner just in time for photos? I do. How about Christmas morning when you fell down 5 steps at Mom-Mom's and Pop-Pop's house and got a three inch rug burn across your forehead? Yeah, I remember that too.

This year has been amazing, wonderful, and just about everything I imagined life with a toddler would be. While you technically started walking before your first birthday, you were full on walking less like a drunken sailor during the weeks after. So, you mastered walking after your first birthday and during your second year.

In March, you moved yourself out of your crib and into your big boy bed. ALL BY YOURSELF. You gave the crib up cold turkey. We had been slowly introducing you to your big boy bed because you learned to climb out of your crib around Thanksgiving. No more slow. We've learned that you do things on your own time and we love you for it.

You're still not talking much, but we get new words every so often and LOVE the words you learn. Right now you're big on "thank you" and "go." Your "thank you" melts my heart and at this point, you can probably get whatever you want just by looking at me with your big hazel eyes and saying "hangoo!" You "hangoo!" when you hand me things and when I hand you things. We get you to say "hangoo!" for everything now. It's almost replaced "please" as your manners word. If "hangoo!" or signing "please" doesn't get our attention, you grab our hands or our pant legs and say "go go go!" and drag us to the object of your affection.

Speaking of affection, you're excellent at it. Your bear hugs are the best in the world. You still don't give "real" kisses but prefer to blow kisses at everyone. You give hugs unprompted most of the time. Sometimes, I grab you up and smoosh you and you find that hilarious. Mostly. Sometimes you scream. Mommy takes full responsibility because usually you scream when I take you from playing with your toys.

You and "Addy" have a fantastic relationship. You quit calling your daddy "Dada" and "Daddy" and shortened it to "Addy" and it's usually said with a question in your voice. When we get in the car and daddy runs some trash to the trash can, you scream "ADDY!" until he's safely in the car. You roughhouse with daddy, appropriately. You go up to him and punch his belly and climb all over him and ride him like a horsey. You do not like it when mommy plays with daddy. I'm not allowed to hold his hand, or hug him, or kiss him. You push me away because he is YOUR "Addy!"

You also have a very loving relationship with your Pop-Pop. When we visit your grandparents in New Jersey, you can't get enough of him. I think it's because he takes you on adventures. You go outside! And walk on the sidewalk! And play with rocks!

We traveled a lot during 2011. We went to New Jersey, Utah, and Washington. You met a lot of your family and wowed all of them with your pleasant personality and easy going demeanor. You are a pro at flying. You aren't too horrible to sit next to on a plane. You don't cry when we take off or land. You do cry when you are forced to stand in line in the jet way. You just want to move, move, move.

In December, Amy, Brandon, and Calvin moved back to North Carolina. You missed your buddy Calvin. To combat some loneliness, we put you into daycare Monday and Tuesday mornings. We were hoping that it would help develop your social skills. Well, I can say it certainly has. You love your daycare and the boys that are there with you. We often ask if you want to go play with your friends and you emphatically respond "YEAH!" We've learned to quit asking the night before because you get upset when you can't see your friends right now.

We also enrolled you in swim class. Swim is NOT your favorite activity. You're still not entirely sure of the tub. You seem to warm up towards the end of class though, enjoying jumping off the side of the pool and kicking off the wall. You do not like laying on your back in the water. I think it gets in your ears. You're very similar to mommy in this matter.

You mimic animal noises. You can moo, snort (pig, mommy wouldn't teach you "oink" like the other kids), cheep cheep, squeak, and you meow and bark. But you don't "woof" YOU BARK. It's one of our favorite sounds. You mimic sirens and I believe you have recently started "caw"ing due to the insane amount of crows that have been in our trees lately. You call juice "loo loo" just like your daddy called water "loo loo" when he was your age.

We found out that you're going to have a baby brother or sister in November. You have no idea what is going on, however, when asked where mommy's baby is, you point to my belly. If we ask where YOUR baby is, you point to your own belly. I promise you, Jack, that I will make sure that you feel just as loved as you do now once the new baby comes. I joke that I'm growing a replacement because you're getting too big, but you can never be replaced as mommy and daddy's first baby.

There are so many firsts that we experienced with you this year and daddy and I cannot wait to experience many more.

Happy Birthday, Cap'n Jack!

9 Weeks

OB appointment today. All good. Apparently I've lost three pounds over the last two weeks. Not entirely sure how that's happened what with the bacon and potato chip diet I've been on and the fact that I no longer fit in my regular clothing.

Heart rate: 170 (perfect!)

Due date: Changed from 11/23 to 11/26-11/28 

C-Section Scheduled: November 21. Hopefully, this is the latest the baby will arrive.

Feeling: Meh. I've been worse.

I think I'm finally beginning to feel a bit better. I was able to eat a whole breakfast this morning, not just an English muffin doused in butter. Sausage! Eggs! Toast! Yay! I still can't drink water, for some reason it makes me nauseous. I can drink lemonade and Sprite. This appears to be what I can handle for the moment and with the weird weight LOSS, I'm okay with drinking something not healthy.

I've been thinking a lot about changing doctors. I love the NPs at my OB office, but in the past, I haven't been completely comfortable with my actual doctor. I think it has to do with the fact that I got to know her staff a bit more during Jack's pregnancy, combined with her NOT being there for my labor and delivery, and followed up with her commenting that maybe yellow isn't the best color for my poor jaundiced baby. Hello! Emotional mother and you're criticizing my going home outfit choice? 

Today, I was slightly nervous about seeing her again. However, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I'm very comfortable with her. She actually read my chart! She knew my history. I know this is something that's a bit odd, but half the time I talk to the same nurse over and over again and I have to remind her of who I am and why I'm calling and how important it is for me to get more than one hcg test because I have a history of ectopic pregnancy. It's always nice when your doctor seems to know what's going on.

She reassured me that my current diet is fine. Not great for the duration of pregnancy, but she's very practical with what I'm able to tolerate and told me to have at it. She also shared with me that she went through the same thing with one of her kids and that honestly made me feel a lot better. She just reminded me to watch my weight (both ways, losing is not ideal either, but I do have some spare change to lose before weight loss is worrisome) and that for now, everything looks good. She was a bit surprised my belly button scar is a keloid scar and I explained, yeah, you should have seen it before the gallbladder surgery. It was really bad.

Got to hear the baby's heartbeat via Doppler. After an unsettling dream of losing the baby the other night, there's nothing more comforting than finding it. Dr. was informing me "it might be a little early...oop! there it is!" And I was able to breath again.

I have an ultrasound May 14th. It's the nuchal translucency which basically screens for Down syndrome and other scary defects, like Trisomy 18. All of my prescreening blood work came back negative, which we expected, but always good to know!

These next two weeks are going to be spent getting Jack's second birthday party together. I still have to make Mickey and Minnie ears for the kids and put together goodie buckets. Have to decide on a cake and whether or not I'm going to feed people more than Chex mix. I'm not entirely sure yet what I want to do.

Children's shows

Jack and I are watching Octonauts. This show just plain makes me angry. WHY would a domestic house cat and a polar bear not only be friends BUT WHY are they the same size (all of the animals are the same size, including an octopus, a dog, a cat, a penguin, and the polar bear)? Why do the polar bear and penguin require full on wet suits when in the water? I haven't watched it enough to know if the actual octopus wears a wet suit, but considering the insanity that is already going on, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. ALSO, the crab has a french accent and when he said "beach" I totally thought he was talking about the whale and was saying "this bitch belongs to us."

Last week I was watching Sesame Street with Jack and Elmo or Baby Bear or someone was sad because there was no wind to fly a kite. The Big Bad Wolf came along and huffed and puffed the kite so the kids could have some fun. Towards the end of the skit, Big Bird made a comment about taking a break from all the huffing and puffing and I swear I heard him say "take a break from all this mother f**king..." whatever. I about died laughing and have no idea what he was talking about.

Don't even get me started on Mickey Mouse and friends shaking their peanuts. That has to be one of the most obscene skits in Mickey land. Seriously, this is why I have kid(s): to make fun of the shows they watch.

We're strictly Disney Channel viewers. I can't stand half of what's on Nick Jr. and I like the fact that no matter how late in the day we watch the channel that there aren't commercials for anything other than Disney shows. Very early in the morning, there are "sponsored" by ads, but they don't hype up THIS IS THE BEST TOY EVER!! commercials that I remember from my own childhood. I think this is why we don't have any problems going into a toy store (besides walking by the ball display. Admittedly, that's our fault. For a while, we'd buy the $2 balls just to shut up our kid and he thought he was entitled. We've since shelved this behavior, but not by any deliberate "good parenting" just by avoiding the aisles long enough for Jack to forget that he used to get a ball every time we shopped.)

Now, I really, really enjoy Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I do. It's the ONLY show that doesn't drive me bonkers. We have some DVDs and we have a ton of recorded episodes for dinner preparation and Mommy's shower time (or nap time, depending on how I'm feeling that day.) Considering at least 1/3 of the words Jack knows now are from Mickey Mouse, I admit that I adore our favorite babysitter :)

Pregnancy Cravings

Todd is bringing me home a deli pickle.

I don't necessarily agree that (in my case) pickles are a pregnancy craving. I LOVE pickles. I eat them more often when not pregnant than when I am pregnant. At least, that's how it was with Jack and how it's shaping up to be with this baby.

But, the precise pickles I crave ARE a pregnancy craving. Like a few weeks ago when I craved BBC pickles. They're still very cucumbery with just a touch of brine. I adore them. Once, I shared an entire bowl of pickles (NOT pregnant) with another pickle enthusiast at BBC because they're just that good. Today, I had a sudden urge for a deli pickle. Deli pickles are much more pickley, not as cucumbery as a BBC pickle. It's all in the details.

Quick update on baby #2. This baby is kicking my ass. I remember being tired with Jack and sleeping afternoons away. I cherished that time. I knew it would be short lived once the baby came. With this kid, all I can think is "Thank god Jack can entertain himself....*drool*" With this baby, everything is backwards; with the exception of exhaustion, of course.

With Jack, my body almost literally rejected fast, greasy food and caffeine. Coke, my precious daily life blood, was offensive to my sensitive taste buds. There were occasions where I craved a Whopper and BK french fries, but I would inevitably feel like crap after eating them. During the third trimester, I could drink Coke again and limited myself to one per day. That was my "approved" amount of caffeine so long as it didn't affect my blood pressure. With Jack, I craved fruit. SO MUCH FRUIT. I don't normally like fruit, but everyday I'd have a fruit salad. Watermelon, strawberries, apples, cantaloupe. With vanilla yogurt. With chocolate. Mmmmm.

With this baby, the only things I seem to be able to keep down are greasy, salty foods (oh right, with the exception of meat-meat is bad.) I'm trying to limit my intake of them to avoid the blood pressure problems of Jack's pregnancy. To "cheat" I am eating whole grain, honey wheat English muffins soaked in butter. I am eating a ton of pesto sauce but using whole grain, high fiber pasta. I'm trying to balance the good and bad foods. I'm hoping things start to change in the next couple of weeks as my first trimester comes to an end. I don't like this feeling of being perpetually hung over. Because that's how I feel. I really wish we had a convenient Denny's because OMG I could seriously go for some of  their hash browns right about now. Have yet to find a place that makes them as tasty as Denny's.

I'm also trying to make sure I get out everyday to get my blood flowing. This plan has backfired on me this week. Two days of feeling not crappy does not make a super mom. I'm struggling to attempt to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I enjoyed Jack's. It's true, Jack's pregnancy was considered "high risk" but I didn't really view it that way. None of my weird symptoms presented in any funkiness for him (high fluid, high BP, things that usually mean low birth weight) so other than following the doctor's orders of bedrest and daily BP monitoring, I just enjoyed growing a person. I loved being pregnant with Jack. Every spout of sickness resulted in happy feelings. With this baby, I just feel blah. I feel guilty for not feeling happy when I puke. I'm pretty sure that means there's something wrong with me, but if you're reading this, you already know that. Maybe it's because this pregnancy STILL doesn't feel real.

This whole being pregnant thing with a near 2-year old is hard. I feel like I'm letting Jack down. He's becoming amazingly independent because I just don't have the energy to get off the couch. I'm really hoping this changes over the next few weeks because I want to enjoy my toddler and I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy.

Dear Baby #2

Dear Baby #2,

We got to see you through ultrasound today and you look all squished and cozy in my belly. Your heartbeat was perfect at 168 bpm. Your big brother doesn't know what's going on yet, as he is only two, but when asked if he wants to see his new brother or sister on the tv screen, he responds with a hearty "YEAH!" He also points to my belly when I ask where Mommy's baby is and points to his own belly when asked where HIS baby is.

This is you measuring 7 weeks and 5 days

(three days older than your "gestational" age!-you're growing so fast)

We're so excited to meet you! We cannot wait until November to hold you. My biggest problem with being pregnant is how long it takes to cook the baby. My only request is that you stay in there for as long as possible and only emerge when you are healthy and ready to be born. Jack was 3 1/2 weeks early and thankfully he didn't have any of the usual preemie problems outside of jaundice. Daddy and I hope that you continue to grow strong and healthy. Trust me, as much as I complain about the morning sickness, nausea, and heartburn, it is all worth it to ensure that you are thriving.

I am discovering that your time in my belly is much different than your brother's and you've only been in there for such a short time. With Jack, I was able to eat anything I wanted and it seemed as though as much as I wanted. I'm learning that you prefer me to eat small meals (sometimes ridiculously small--like half a serving!) and keep the bubbly fluids coming. You seem to prefer that I eat light, salads and small sandwiches are my preference lately, and that too much water makes me sick (in fact, after drinking a BIG glass of water because I was very thirsty was the only time I've been sick in the past 2 months.) In a way, the little differences leave us with the hope that the big things will be different as well. NO BLOOD PRESSURE ISSUES, PLEASE!

I hope you are a girl, if only for symmetry and to have my princess. But believe me, I will love you just as much if you are a boy. Both genders have equal excitement for me. On one hand, I really want my dress up doll :) on the other hand, I want Jack to have a playmate that is just as rough and tumble as he is. I know that no matter what you are we will love you more than anyone else could ever love you. You are our special, unexpected (yet planned!) gift.

We love you already!

Mommy, Daddy, and big brother Jack

Big Things Are Happening!

Today, Todd and I made a big announcement on Facebook.

Last month we found out that we were expecting our second baby sometime in November.

Instead of excitement like we felt with Jack's pregnancy, this pregnancy was riddled with caution, anxiety, and just a little bit of stress. Last week we had our first ultrasound and confirmed that the baby would be growing in my uterus, not my remaining fallopian tube! We were thrilled!

We were going to wait to announce, but I just couldn't contain my excitement anymore. We are so excited that we will be welcoming a new addition into our home and our hearts. Jack seems a bit confused. When asked if he wanted to go see his new baby brother or sister on TV, he responded with a hearty "no!" He was surprisingly well behaved in the ultrasound room.

So far, this pregnancy has differed a bit from Jack's. With Jack, I had little to no nausea and vomited once a day for three weeks. For the past few weeks, I've suffered miserable nausea almost constantly. Nothing is easing it and I'm hoping the old wive's tale is true and we are expecting a girl (if it's a boy, we will be just as happy.)

Todd and I agree that we cannot wait to meet this new little one. I really, really wish human gestation time wasn't 40 weeks!