I got an email from Netflix. We use Netflix watch now on Xbox and PS3 and haven't really had any issues. I wasn't aware there were issues until I received the following email:
Dear Molly,
Recently you may have had trouble instantly watching TV episodes or movies due to technical issues.
We are sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused. If you attempted and were unable to instantly watch TV episodes or movies yesterday, click on this account specific link in the next 7 days to apply a credit to your next billing statement. The credit will be 3% of our $7.99 a month plan that lets our members instantly watch unlimited TV episodes and movies. Credit can only be applied once.
Ready to start watching again? Check out our latest selection.
Again, we apologize for any inconvenience and thank you for your understanding. If you need further assistance, please call us at 1-866-923-0898.
–The Netflix Team
I would like to point out that they're being very generous to OFFER a credit before I complained. Todd and I had a nice chuckle at the 24 cents they were going to return to us for having difficulties. I guess that 24 cents times millions of customers is quite a loss :)
You go Netflix, for having awesome customer service!
(please note, this post is not sarcastic, I truly am impressed that they are preemptively offering a refund when I did not complain. The chuckle comes from the $0.24 they were offering!!)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Define: Marriage
I watch a lot of TLC reality television. I watched "Jon and Kate," I watch "19 Kids and Counting" and I have a hopeless addiction to "Sister Wives" (and "Big Love" on HBO).
Tonight, Todd and I watched the second season premier and the second episode. While watching and discovering that the poor Brown family is now under a bigamy investigation I have to ask myself...who the hell cares?
The dude owns his own business and can support his four wives and all their kids. As far as I can tell, they aren't committing insurance or tax fraud and their kids are well rounded, active and normal kids. Kids that are never neglected because there is always a mom at home that cooks and takes care of the kids. I get that Utah and Mormons in general are trying to break away from the polygamy stereotype and distance the church as far from the nutjob FLDS. But, it's not like they're the only religion that's ever practiced polygamy in the history of religion (or modern religion!!) It's not like they're even the only religion that has a history of taking young brides.
(I do not condone underage marriage or teen pregnancy in any way. I think kids should be kids for as long as possible. However, I am ever open to other people's religious beliefs and while I may think some things are wrong, I still try to be open minded. In 7th grade, I read the book "Shabanu" about an 11-year old girl forced to marry a much older man to protect her family's honor. She becomes marriageable when her period starts. I was 12. I remember thinking how insane it was to possibly be married at the age of 12.)
Mostly, I don't think that the courts in any manner can intervene in religious beliefs. It is part of the 1st amendment and it's not the government's business if a man chooses to marry more than one woman. If there is child abuse or fraud committed, it is perfectly acceptable for the law to get involved.
I want to touch on gay marriage here, too. To say that homosexual couples ruin the American family is one of the most ridiculous things to ever say. I loved the thing going around Facebook talking about Larry King's and Elizabeth Taylor's multiple marriages and that they're the ones ruining the sanctity of marriage. This is one of the things I love about living in Massachusetts. I think it's sad that the government has the right to say who can be in love. What kind of world do we live in? Who does it really affect to let two men or two women declare their love for one another and get a tax break? Of course, these are the same lawmakers that are trying to redefine RAPE. There aren't enough curse words in the universe to describe these people.
I want to raise my children to be open-minded about other people's beliefs and grow up knowing that whatever they become will be perfectly acceptable with me. I will love them no matter what. I will find a way to make life as easy as possible if they choose a lifestyle that is not what is considered "normal". How do I do this in today's world?
The same people that claim they are fighting to keep America free are trying to stifle people's personal beliefs. I hope in the next 20 years we really begin to see a positive change in this country. As the current generation becomes more political what will change? How can there be so much anger towards other lifestyles in the 21st century? I'm pretty sure I've written this before but I really don't understand how I, a moderately educated person, seem so much smarter than the people that are running this country... Todd likes to say that in the next 10 years, we can have a president that grew up playing video games and how cool is that going to be? A president that takes technology seriously would be awesome. But how is this going to change the outlook of the world?
Tonight, Todd and I watched the second season premier and the second episode. While watching and discovering that the poor Brown family is now under a bigamy investigation I have to ask myself...who the hell cares?
The dude owns his own business and can support his four wives and all their kids. As far as I can tell, they aren't committing insurance or tax fraud and their kids are well rounded, active and normal kids. Kids that are never neglected because there is always a mom at home that cooks and takes care of the kids. I get that Utah and Mormons in general are trying to break away from the polygamy stereotype and distance the church as far from the nutjob FLDS. But, it's not like they're the only religion that's ever practiced polygamy in the history of religion (or modern religion!!) It's not like they're even the only religion that has a history of taking young brides.
(I do not condone underage marriage or teen pregnancy in any way. I think kids should be kids for as long as possible. However, I am ever open to other people's religious beliefs and while I may think some things are wrong, I still try to be open minded. In 7th grade, I read the book "Shabanu" about an 11-year old girl forced to marry a much older man to protect her family's honor. She becomes marriageable when her period starts. I was 12. I remember thinking how insane it was to possibly be married at the age of 12.)
Mostly, I don't think that the courts in any manner can intervene in religious beliefs. It is part of the 1st amendment and it's not the government's business if a man chooses to marry more than one woman. If there is child abuse or fraud committed, it is perfectly acceptable for the law to get involved.
I want to touch on gay marriage here, too. To say that homosexual couples ruin the American family is one of the most ridiculous things to ever say. I loved the thing going around Facebook talking about Larry King's and Elizabeth Taylor's multiple marriages and that they're the ones ruining the sanctity of marriage. This is one of the things I love about living in Massachusetts. I think it's sad that the government has the right to say who can be in love. What kind of world do we live in? Who does it really affect to let two men or two women declare their love for one another and get a tax break? Of course, these are the same lawmakers that are trying to redefine RAPE. There aren't enough curse words in the universe to describe these people.
I want to raise my children to be open-minded about other people's beliefs and grow up knowing that whatever they become will be perfectly acceptable with me. I will love them no matter what. I will find a way to make life as easy as possible if they choose a lifestyle that is not what is considered "normal". How do I do this in today's world?
The same people that claim they are fighting to keep America free are trying to stifle people's personal beliefs. I hope in the next 20 years we really begin to see a positive change in this country. As the current generation becomes more political what will change? How can there be so much anger towards other lifestyles in the 21st century? I'm pretty sure I've written this before but I really don't understand how I, a moderately educated person, seem so much smarter than the people that are running this country... Todd likes to say that in the next 10 years, we can have a president that grew up playing video games and how cool is that going to be? A president that takes technology seriously would be awesome. But how is this going to change the outlook of the world?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
How we got Jack!
I just transferred all of Jack's videos and photos from the last three months to DVD and our external hard drive. I always check the discs to make sure that the files burned properly and I am simply amazed at how much Jack has changed in the last three months. He quite literally went from little flailing blob to an almost-toddler. It's amazing how much he has grown and learned in the last few months.
Here is the long promised, overly edited version of our struggle through infertility and resulting birth of our first child.
Jack is very special. He is most special in how he got here, in our lives.
In 2007, about 6 or so months after we got married and right after we bought our condo, Todd and I went off birth control to start trying for a family. I was on a form of birth control that stopped my periods for a number of years. I LOVED this birth control...unfortunately, it did mean that Todd has never, EVER seen me PMS. I think this was the entire reason our relationship worked and we didn't kill one another. Anyway, it was synthetic hormones that ultimately stopped me from ovulating for quite some time. Normally, women can go off birth control and get pregnant right away. For some reason, this did not happen for me. I got my periods back about 6 months after we went off BC and they came back as regular as they were before-every 28-30 days.
We tried and tried and tried. I began to hate the "relax and it'll happen" mantra. It's a bunch of crap. There's no way to relax when you want something so bad it hurts. We didn't share with our family that we were trying until quite some time after the many negatives. I didn't want anyone asking if we were pregnant yet or offering advice or raising their expectations. But mostly, I didn't want to share our very painful struggle.
Todd is the best husband I could ever ask for. Every negative test he would grieve with me. He had a very practical approach, but was just as concerned as I was that we weren't getting pregnant. He was very open to testing, which couldn't be done until we had tried, unsuccessfully, for a year to get pregnant. Infertility is described as the inability to get pregnant for at least a period of 12 months if you're under the age of 35. Most insurances consider miscarriages "pregnancies" and the clock starts over if this happens. Thankfully, we never suffered a miscarriage.
Two years after "officially" stopping birth control, we decided it was time to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). By that time, I had had my periods back for about a year and a half. During this time, I was working retail and going to school. I started having crazy weird symptoms. Every month, I was convinced I was pregnant. I was emotional, couldn't sleep, had an insatiable appetite but couldn't keep anything down. I got dizzy and rather than the world "spinning" I couldn't focus on things. It's a very weird thing to feel. I went to my doctor and she ran blood work, which all came back normal. After a couple of months of this, she decided to send me in for a full workup. I had an MRI of my brain, I saw a neurologist, I had scans on my heart done, massive amounts of blood work-everything you can just about possibly imagine, I had it done.
Finally, when all of my results came back normal and still my symptoms continued, we looked back on my symptoms. My doctor discovered that they were always happening in the middle of my cycle. I would never have imagined correlating my symptoms to my period, which always came weeks after. She diagnosed me with PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric/Depressive Disorder). In simple terms, it's pretty much PMS on super steroids. Now, this was on top of normal moodiness that came with PMS. Poor Todd :(
The diagnosis was received. I was okay with that. Just knowing what was going on and being able to recognize the symptoms was a relief.
I labored on my knees, causing my water to break...this happened twice, well kind of. A few hours later, the baby shifted and my water really gushed. Todd informed me how gross it was. But, it was a good clear color so no worries. Finally, when Todd's mom went to pick mine up from the airport, I was 7cm. Whohoo! Talks of c-sections went away and while the grandmas were on their way to-and-from the airport (about 2 hours round trip with waiting...) I had progressed to 9cm. About an hour later, I was at 10! Holy moly here we go! I pushed for a good 45 minutes before Jack's heart rate started dropping. It was dipping very low and disappeared at some points. This is where the fun begins.
Here is the long promised, overly edited version of our struggle through infertility and resulting birth of our first child.
Jack is very special. He is most special in how he got here, in our lives.
In 2007, about 6 or so months after we got married and right after we bought our condo, Todd and I went off birth control to start trying for a family. I was on a form of birth control that stopped my periods for a number of years. I LOVED this birth control...unfortunately, it did mean that Todd has never, EVER seen me PMS. I think this was the entire reason our relationship worked and we didn't kill one another. Anyway, it was synthetic hormones that ultimately stopped me from ovulating for quite some time. Normally, women can go off birth control and get pregnant right away. For some reason, this did not happen for me. I got my periods back about 6 months after we went off BC and they came back as regular as they were before-every 28-30 days.
We tried and tried and tried. I began to hate the "relax and it'll happen" mantra. It's a bunch of crap. There's no way to relax when you want something so bad it hurts. We didn't share with our family that we were trying until quite some time after the many negatives. I didn't want anyone asking if we were pregnant yet or offering advice or raising their expectations. But mostly, I didn't want to share our very painful struggle.
Todd is the best husband I could ever ask for. Every negative test he would grieve with me. He had a very practical approach, but was just as concerned as I was that we weren't getting pregnant. He was very open to testing, which couldn't be done until we had tried, unsuccessfully, for a year to get pregnant. Infertility is described as the inability to get pregnant for at least a period of 12 months if you're under the age of 35. Most insurances consider miscarriages "pregnancies" and the clock starts over if this happens. Thankfully, we never suffered a miscarriage.
Two years after "officially" stopping birth control, we decided it was time to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). By that time, I had had my periods back for about a year and a half. During this time, I was working retail and going to school. I started having crazy weird symptoms. Every month, I was convinced I was pregnant. I was emotional, couldn't sleep, had an insatiable appetite but couldn't keep anything down. I got dizzy and rather than the world "spinning" I couldn't focus on things. It's a very weird thing to feel. I went to my doctor and she ran blood work, which all came back normal. After a couple of months of this, she decided to send me in for a full workup. I had an MRI of my brain, I saw a neurologist, I had scans on my heart done, massive amounts of blood work-everything you can just about possibly imagine, I had it done.
Finally, when all of my results came back normal and still my symptoms continued, we looked back on my symptoms. My doctor discovered that they were always happening in the middle of my cycle. I would never have imagined correlating my symptoms to my period, which always came weeks after. She diagnosed me with PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric/Depressive Disorder). In simple terms, it's pretty much PMS on super steroids. Now, this was on top of normal moodiness that came with PMS. Poor Todd :(
The diagnosis was received. I was okay with that. Just knowing what was going on and being able to recognize the symptoms was a relief.
In June of 2009, I saw my RE for the first time. She was very sympathetic of our issues. Despite not knowing much of my maternal family history, we began the process of getting pregnant. Before any medications or intervention was required, we had to find out what our potential issues were. So...they started out by doing ultrasounds-measuring to make sure that my uterus and ovaries were good, both there, cyst and fibroid free and that I was ovulating. Then, I had a hysterosalpinogram. This is an x-ray done in order to determine if my tubes were open. It's uncomfortable and a little painful. Thank goodness it was over quick. I had more blood work done. Todd had to supply a sperm sample and give some blood. It's so easy being a man.
Anywho, everything came out perfect. There was nothing physically or hormonally wrong with either one of us. The course of action determined after the tests was conservative. The doctor explained that we will do IUI (intrauterine insemination) with Clomid. We will try this for no more than 3 months. If the procedures are not successful, we will move onto injectable medications. I was determined NOT to inject myself on a daily basis.
The first month, though I had high hopes, I just couldn't really imagine myself getting pregnant. I don't know how much willpower is related to getting pregnant, but after multiple ultrasounds and blood work (they do blood and ultrasound every other day...) and an unsuccessful IUI, I wasn't pregnant.
The second month, August, was a little more productive. In fact, it was a lot more productive, it was successful! We found out we were pregnant after an insane overreaction at my poor nephew for being a silly 13 year old. Not my finest moment. However, it was (hopefully) forgiven after we found out that the reason for my overreaction was related to the spawn that was now growing inside of me.
We found out that we were pregnant on September 11, 2009. We figured Jack would be due at the end of May and I enjoyed my pregnancy. I didn't even mind the occasional bout of nausea. I never considered myself having true morning sickness because it was so sporadic and was usually the direct result of eating too much.
Until January.
In the beginning of January, I went to visit my parents in Seattle. I felt fine, fantastic actually. I became aware of Jack's movements on my trip. It was awesome. I would feel him every night and it wasn't any butterfly fluttering crap, my kid could KICK. And he did. Repeatedly. On my bladder. On the flight home, he would react to music that I played from my headphones. That was possibly the neatest thing ever. I got home and school started again.
The 2nd week of school, I started feeling funny. I would get dizzy and I would see stars in my peripheral vision. I called my OB, who told me to see my regular doctor, who saw me that day and my blood pressure was high...about 145/90something. She determined it to be pregnancy induced hypertension: PIH. I was referred back to my OB, who sent me to labor/delivery at the hospital. My diagnosis was confirmed. I was eventually released on an observational basis: had to make sure my blood pressure remained low without symptoms. Well, a week later I had more symptoms. I saw the doctor and was forced to withdraw from school and I went on bedrest.
That was the least of my worries. I had faith that everything would be okay. My ONLY symptom was the hypertension and Jack continued to thrive and grow and we avoided all of the scary side effects of PIH. Unfortunately though, I had to withdraw from school...but since I was past the add/drop period, I had to get permission from the registrar to withdraw without penalty. Thankfully, they were willing to work with me and allowed me to withdraw. I went on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was allowed out of my house twice a week for NST and bloodwork at the doctor's office or the hospital.
I cheated and went to the grocery store and Sunday dinners, but this was purely for my sanity. Weekly, I would admit my indiscretions to my OB and she was totally fine with it as long as my BP wasn't increasing (my justification was that I was getting exercise :P). They were remaining steady at borderline between high and normal.
I cheated and went to the grocery store and Sunday dinners, but this was purely for my sanity. Weekly, I would admit my indiscretions to my OB and she was totally fine with it as long as my BP wasn't increasing (my justification was that I was getting exercise :P). They were remaining steady at borderline between high and normal.
I slept on the couch for more than 3 months. My bed just wasn't comfortable. Apparently, that's a pregnancy thing because it's fine now.
On April 29, 2010, I went in for what would be my last NST at the hospital. My blood pressure was a bit high, but it dropped down to acceptable limits before I was released. I went home and started having some contractions. I kind of figured they were braxton hicks, but they didn't go away after I drank a lot of water and laid on my left side. They lasted all day and so I called my doctor. She said keep an eye on them and if they lasted for 5 hours, to come in. They were happening about ever 5-10 minutes for 4 hours. At about 11 o'clock, I said to Todd "well, if we're gonna have this baby, let's get some sleep" and we went to bed. My contractions weren't that painful. Over night, the rest must have kicked the contractions away, because I didn't have them as regular in the morning.
However, my blood pressure was about 150ish/100something so I called the doctor. The pressure levels weren't going down, so she sent me into L&D for another NST and BP check. We went in around noon. At around 3, despite having medication to help my BP, it wasn't going down. The baby's heart rate was fine; he wasn't in any distress, so the on-call doctor decided to induce me (over a c-section.) She explained that even though Jack appeared to be fine and his latest ultrasound showed that his lungs were likely fine, he would still be considered a late term preemie. She walked us through the potential of breathing problems and worst case scenario of being transferred to Worcester--the closest NICU--if his conditional wasn't optimal. We called the grandmas. Todd's mom flew in that night and mine came the next day.
My labor was awesome. The contractions sucked...I was on pitocin, which makes them stronger. By morning, I was about 2cm dilated. The nurse urged me (very kindly) that it would be beneficial to just get the epidural if I wanted one. After all, I was there anyway and labor wasn't going to get any easier. Being induced does make labor seem longer...but only because most women labor at home. So, with induction, most women are not "primed" for labor yet--so that process is medically advanced. Anyway, by the afternoon, I wasn't progressing enough so the doctor started talking about prepping me for a c-section. I did not want a c-section, so the nurse and I got things going. I got the epidural around 2 or so and the anesthesiologist told us she'd never seen anyone smile through their epidural. I couldn't help it, despite the fear of the giant needle, I was just so excited!
I labored on my knees, causing my water to break...this happened twice, well kind of. A few hours later, the baby shifted and my water really gushed. Todd informed me how gross it was. But, it was a good clear color so no worries. Finally, when Todd's mom went to pick mine up from the airport, I was 7cm. Whohoo! Talks of c-sections went away and while the grandmas were on their way to-and-from the airport (about 2 hours round trip with waiting...) I had progressed to 9cm. About an hour later, I was at 10! Holy moly here we go! I pushed for a good 45 minutes before Jack's heart rate started dropping. It was dipping very low and disappeared at some points. This is where the fun begins.
In a matter of moments, we went from a happy atmosphere to a very...rushed atmosphere. No one was freaking out (I'm very proud of myself for this as I tend to cry for hours over stubbed toes), we all remained calm but focused. The nurse was stimulating Jack's head to keep his heart rate up. She was on the bed with me all the way to the operating room. This is Todd's most vivid memory of labor.
Well, we finally got into the operating room. I remember shaking as though I were freezing my ass off, but in reality I was quite warm. I got more pain blocking medications and had the following conversation with the anesthesiologists:
Dr: How are you feeling? Can you feel anything?
Me: Well, I can feel my buttcheeks, is that normal? Because it doesn't really seem like something I should feel.
Dr: Oh, I think you're okay. It's normal to have some feeling, but can you feel them poking you?
Me: Poking me? No, but I can feel my butt (getting panicked)
Dr: They're already opening you up! I can see the baby. Here is your husband.
Todd: Hey!
Me: I can feel my ass cheeks.
Room: IT'S A BOY! 20:49
Jack: *pathetic waaaaah! just enough to let us know he was alive*
Me: GO GET PICTURES! NOW!
Todd: But, they're working on him. I don't want to bother them!
Me: IT'S YOUR JOB! GO!!
Room: Counting what I assume are all the various instruments to ensure that I don't have a scalpel left in my uterus.
I was grinning like a monkey.
I have never been so giddy to undergo a surgical procedure. Upon awakening from the surgery to remove the cyst on my face I nearly punched out the nurse. After jaw surgery all I wanted to do was pee on my own and ripped my catheter out. Yeah, it was about as fun as it sounds. However, this was a million times better than I could have ever hoped.
Now, 10 months later (yikes, I've neglected this post for a while) it's amazing to watch him attempt steps and crawl after the kitties. My favorite time of day is when we wake up in the morning and all he wants to do is snuggle in for a few minutes before playing. I know I won't always have the snuggle boy and I cherish every hug or slobbery kiss he offers me like it's the last one I'll get.
Torturing Loving on Strider
Jack being in our lives has been singlehandedly the most stressful and amazing event to ever happen to us. I would go through every moment of the last almost 2 years and not change a single moment. Every second has been a new experience that is more worthwhile than anything I have ever done.
Well, we finally got into the operating room. I remember shaking as though I were freezing my ass off, but in reality I was quite warm. I got more pain blocking medications and had the following conversation with the anesthesiologists:
Dr: How are you feeling? Can you feel anything?
Me: Well, I can feel my buttcheeks, is that normal? Because it doesn't really seem like something I should feel.
Dr: Oh, I think you're okay. It's normal to have some feeling, but can you feel them poking you?
Me: Poking me? No, but I can feel my butt (getting panicked)
Dr: They're already opening you up! I can see the baby. Here is your husband.
Todd: Hey!
Me: I can feel my ass cheeks.
Room: IT'S A BOY! 20:49
Jack: *pathetic waaaaah! just enough to let us know he was alive*
Me: GO GET PICTURES! NOW!
Todd: But, they're working on him. I don't want to bother them!
Me: IT'S YOUR JOB! GO!!
Room: Counting what I assume are all the various instruments to ensure that I don't have a scalpel left in my uterus.
Hmmm...Not quite sure what to think.
Right after his first bath
I was grinning like a monkey.
I have never been so giddy to undergo a surgical procedure. Upon awakening from the surgery to remove the cyst on my face I nearly punched out the nurse. After jaw surgery all I wanted to do was pee on my own and ripped my catheter out. Yeah, it was about as fun as it sounds. However, this was a million times better than I could have ever hoped.
Now, 10 months later (yikes, I've neglected this post for a while) it's amazing to watch him attempt steps and crawl after the kitties. My favorite time of day is when we wake up in the morning and all he wants to do is snuggle in for a few minutes before playing. I know I won't always have the snuggle boy and I cherish every hug or slobbery kiss he offers me like it's the last one I'll get.
(do you see the evil glint in his eye? Immediately after this he had the audacity to attempt sharing his goldfish with the cat!!)
Jack being in our lives has been singlehandedly the most stressful and amazing event to ever happen to us. I would go through every moment of the last almost 2 years and not change a single moment. Every second has been a new experience that is more worthwhile than anything I have ever done.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Too many Jack updates
I think Jack needs his own Facebook page. For the amount of status updates I do for him.
Today:
1:30 PM: toy of the day? can of tomato sauce. He is lugging it around hissing at it.
6:30 PM: is it mean that I am laughing and FACEBOOKING while my baby throws a ridiculous fit. Want to know what THIS fit is about? The ENTERTAINMENT CENTER IS IN HIS WAY AND HE CANNOT SIT DOWN.
7:00 PM: mmmm beef stew. JACK LOVES CARROTS. And apparently cat fur because he just tried to eat Strider
NOW: OHMIGOD HILARIOUS! Strider smacked Zelda and after the little catfight, Jack scooted as fast as possible with a blue ring toy and began beating Zelda with it. I think he's on Strider's side! Poor Z. She's such a patient, loving kitty. (Didn't actually post this one as I've already posted FOUR times today)
I am so disgustingly in love with this baby it's ridiculous. It's so hard to tell him NO, even when he's doing something potentially dangerous (you know, like pull out all the garbage bags from the cabinet under the island--we've since moved them) or torture the kitties. Today though, he was trying to knock over my penguin...well it's actually a Christmas sculpture thingy...and after I discovered that it had EXPOSED SCREWS since that time Todd tried to use it as support to stand up. I looked around to find a place to put it that was safely out of Jack's reach and he was back grabbing the pointy screws. I yelled "JACK NO!" and he looked at me and quickly scurried to the other side of the entertainment center going "MAMADADADALAYAYAYA" which I took to be "Oh no! I'm sorry!"and I scooped him up and gave him kisses and told him how dangerous screws are and he burst into hysterical giggles while screaming "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"right into my ears. I love him.
Today:
1:30 PM: toy of the day? can of tomato sauce. He is lugging it around hissing at it.
6:30 PM: is it mean that I am laughing and FACEBOOKING while my baby throws a ridiculous fit. Want to know what THIS fit is about? The ENTERTAINMENT CENTER IS IN HIS WAY AND HE CANNOT SIT DOWN.
7:00 PM: mmmm beef stew. JACK LOVES CARROTS. And apparently cat fur because he just tried to eat Strider
NOW: OHMIGOD HILARIOUS! Strider smacked Zelda and after the little catfight, Jack scooted as fast as possible with a blue ring toy and began beating Zelda with it. I think he's on Strider's side! Poor Z. She's such a patient, loving kitty. (Didn't actually post this one as I've already posted FOUR times today)
I am so disgustingly in love with this baby it's ridiculous. It's so hard to tell him NO, even when he's doing something potentially dangerous (you know, like pull out all the garbage bags from the cabinet under the island--we've since moved them) or torture the kitties. Today though, he was trying to knock over my penguin...well it's actually a Christmas sculpture thingy...and after I discovered that it had EXPOSED SCREWS since that time Todd tried to use it as support to stand up. I looked around to find a place to put it that was safely out of Jack's reach and he was back grabbing the pointy screws. I yelled "JACK NO!" and he looked at me and quickly scurried to the other side of the entertainment center going "MAMADADADALAYAYAYA" which I took to be "Oh no! I'm sorry!"and I scooped him up and gave him kisses and told him how dangerous screws are and he burst into hysterical giggles while screaming "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"right into my ears. I love him.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The Fragility of Life
I've been thinking a lot in the last few days about how life is incredibly fragile. And how so many of us take it for granted.
I consider myself to be agnostic. After all, for the most part, I'm logical. I feel that I need proof of a higher being and blind faith just doesn't work for me. However, I'd like to believe that there's some friendly guy in the sky that watches over us. Then, I look at the state of the world and think this guy has some sick sense of humor. I don't like the idea that we as living creatures are some experiment gone wrong. I HOPE that we're still evolving and one day we can stop fighting over silly things like whose god is better than whose when we have a planet that is rapidly deteriorating. Anyway, back to my original point.
I lost a lot of people in 2009. My stepgrandma, uncle and stepmom all died in 2009. Needless to say, it was a devastating year. It's insane how quickly an illness like cancer can ruin a life and the lives of loved ones. Both my uncle and stepmom died of cancer. I found out about my uncle's cancer not long before he passed. I never questioned why it took so long for people to tell me and kind of accepted that it just was. My stepmom had been battling since 2006, shortly before we moved to MA. Surprisingly her death was a relief. That last sentence sounds unfeeling and just...cold...but she had been battling for a long time and was living connected to a colostomy bag and couldn't eat or drink on her own. Her death released her of her pain and for that I was grateful. I miss her dearly as she practically raised me and has always been a strong supporter of anything I do. She was thrilled to behold the title of grandmother.
I'm writing this because I have seen (secondhand and recently) how quickly cancer can just come on and then rip the hearts out of various loved ones. I wish that this never happened. I wish I could live in a world where cancer only happened to old people; people whose lives had been lived and that had been lived well. I know that sounds selfish and delusional and like I'm wishing old people cancer. I'm not. I know a lot of cool old people, but my point is that it's unfair when cancer affects children or young adults. People that have yet to live their lives; have yet to be married or graduate college; have yet to learn to ride a bike or even learn to walk.
I want to end this post with something happy because I don't want to go to bed tonight thinking of all the bad things in life. I don't want to worry whether tomorrow is going to suck worse than yesterday. I want to relish the moments that I have with my son and know that no matter what he is going to live the best life I can possibly give him. I hope that his life far surpasses my own :) Love you Jack!
I consider myself to be agnostic. After all, for the most part, I'm logical. I feel that I need proof of a higher being and blind faith just doesn't work for me. However, I'd like to believe that there's some friendly guy in the sky that watches over us. Then, I look at the state of the world and think this guy has some sick sense of humor. I don't like the idea that we as living creatures are some experiment gone wrong. I HOPE that we're still evolving and one day we can stop fighting over silly things like whose god is better than whose when we have a planet that is rapidly deteriorating. Anyway, back to my original point.
I lost a lot of people in 2009. My stepgrandma, uncle and stepmom all died in 2009. Needless to say, it was a devastating year. It's insane how quickly an illness like cancer can ruin a life and the lives of loved ones. Both my uncle and stepmom died of cancer. I found out about my uncle's cancer not long before he passed. I never questioned why it took so long for people to tell me and kind of accepted that it just was. My stepmom had been battling since 2006, shortly before we moved to MA. Surprisingly her death was a relief. That last sentence sounds unfeeling and just...cold...but she had been battling for a long time and was living connected to a colostomy bag and couldn't eat or drink on her own. Her death released her of her pain and for that I was grateful. I miss her dearly as she practically raised me and has always been a strong supporter of anything I do. She was thrilled to behold the title of grandmother.
I'm writing this because I have seen (secondhand and recently) how quickly cancer can just come on and then rip the hearts out of various loved ones. I wish that this never happened. I wish I could live in a world where cancer only happened to old people; people whose lives had been lived and that had been lived well. I know that sounds selfish and delusional and like I'm wishing old people cancer. I'm not. I know a lot of cool old people, but my point is that it's unfair when cancer affects children or young adults. People that have yet to live their lives; have yet to be married or graduate college; have yet to learn to ride a bike or even learn to walk.
I want to end this post with something happy because I don't want to go to bed tonight thinking of all the bad things in life. I don't want to worry whether tomorrow is going to suck worse than yesterday. I want to relish the moments that I have with my son and know that no matter what he is going to live the best life I can possibly give him. I hope that his life far surpasses my own :) Love you Jack!
This photo actually makes me a little sad because he looks less like a baby and more like a big boy
He isn't supposed to play with Xbox controllers!
Waving at his fruit
Monday, March 7, 2011
This day just keeps getting better...NOT
WARNING: POOP DISCUSSION AND A LOT OF RANTING
Today was good. For the most part.
Jack has been running a low grade fever on and off since Thursday. Unfortunately, this fever also contains runny poop and while he seems fine overall, we are concerned about him not nursing and drinking as much as he normally does and honestly, going from a once-a-day solid poop to 3-4 times-a-day giant poosplosions is a bit unnerving. So, I am having Todd take him to the doctor anyway. Just in case there's something else possibly going on.
Our new ottoman came. I love it. It will hopefully prevent Jack from getting future (non) concussions but we shall see. It's huge and heavy and Amy helped me carry it up three flights of stairs because the UPS guy was a total pussy. It wasn't THAT bad. Wimp. Honestly, he's pretty cool. He doesn't remember it, but he did carry up Jack's crib last year and that weighed much more. At least, I'm pretty sure it was the same guy.
So, onto other things. I will begin by saying that I am not an expert in our government, nor do I wish to be. However, I know enough to know that we have a balanced government and that there is a process for making changes. People are always quick to accuse presidents of not doing this, or doing that and we, as a general population, tend to gripe and scream about said changes not following through. This has nothing to do with the president. He is only one man. One man with very little power. Sure, he can say "hey you, I want to get this done" and Congress can say "sure" or "eff that noise, we don't like you this week" and not pass said bill. It's not a perfect system and is by no means honest, but it's the best that the Founding Fathers could do THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
This really is a country run by the people. Granted, they're the rich people, but that's because they can afford publicity. Within the Constitution (I believe, I don't have notes in front of me) there is a *clause* that pretty much says "hey people, you can make changes if you think that we've gone off the deep end" and they recognized that the general population electing representatives was going to be a bit shady. We all go around saying "WELL THAT'S NOT CONSTITUTIONAL" without actually knowing what those words mean. Take the 2nd amendment for example. First off, this was written at a time of war. There was not a government sanctioned military. There was an army that was thrown together of all the state militia in order to fight in the Revolution. Get it straight. It's not your god given right to shoot anyone that walks on your property or amass insane amounts of weaponry (unless you live in Texas).
Okay, back to my original rant. I read today on someone else's FB wall (to which I did not respond because I couldn't repress my rage and after perusing this person's own page, I was shocked to see that she had studied "law" in her "about me" it's paralegal studies) in response to a post about picketing gas stations on the 15th: "This is total crap! I was told the price of gas by this summer is going to 6 $ a gallon. NO WAY! Obama is going to have to do something or everyone including myself is going to burn down the whitehouse!!"
I need a moment to collect myself.
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING??? WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THIS SORT OF THING ON SOMEONE'S WALL??? Seriously, dude? Obviously you weren't paying any attention in any of your government classes. I want it to be known that I do not blame our president for the current state of the Mideast. As much as I disliked the old president, I'm not within the group of people that blame him for 9/11 or the wars we've been in for the last 10 years (although, I do believe there were some backhanded shady details left out as to why things went down as they did, I'm willing to grant him some slack-he had a hard time putting together all those words to say to us). It's all falling to shit and while we do have the means to create a temporary solution, we cannot rely on reserves alone. I realize that I just bought a gas guzzling minivan and that I should rot in hell for what I'm about to say, but if this person wants to make a change, perhaps she should invest in a more fuel efficient car? Vote for a better congressperson or representative? BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DON'T THREATEN TO BURN DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE YOU MORON.
My second rant for the evening is this piece of shit work that was written by Time. I'm all for studies and trying to make this world seem a little less chaotic. However, this article blew my mind. The choice to become a parent, especially in modern times what with birth control and adoption and sterilization, is not taken lightly. At least, for most people. I was a parent the second I saw two lines on the urine covered stick (this is why abortion should remain a choice-even if you put your baby up for adoption, I have a hard time believing you can just forget you're a parent). I fully support people that do not have children and while I'm always curious as to why they don't want them, I understand that the responsibility to take care of another person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE is not for everyone. However, trying to prove that parents really aren't happy being parents and that we all lie to ourselves to get through the horrors of diapers and fits and homework is downright offensive.
I especially like the part where it says "Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children." Uh...NO SHIT. You're responsible for this tiny, death seeking, horribly unbalanced, stinky, sticky, slobber and snot covered miniature person. There is no time to be calm. YOUR LIFE IS THAT OF CHAOS AND SHIT FROM NOW ON. I think I'm most offended by the harsh comparisons of children to shiny televisions when the cheap versions offer the same entertainment. Makes me wonder if John Cloud has kids.
I'm the least calm person I know. I do happen to know of people that are less rational than myself, but when it comes to kids and knowing that you are completely and utterly responsible for every moment of their lives for the first 18 years of their life, it's a bit unnerving. Babies have no sense of logic or time. Yes, there is a certain amount of lying that a parent does BUT THIS IS NECESSARY. You have to believe that tomorrow night will be better or you will smother your children in their sleep. This is a defense mechanism. I have to believe that my child is not actively seeking death to refrain from putting him in a plastic bubble or wrapping him in duct tape and packing peanuts (because bubble wrap pops!) and this is something that I do willingly.
I went through a lot of depression and anger trying to get pregnant (this story is coming eventually, I promise. I'm still editing it) and there is nothing in this world that makes all of that worth it than looking down at my sleeping son. I may convince myself that every shitty diaper I change means that his GI tract is working or that every time he bites me that he is just testing out his chompers and ins't being a vindictive little turd, but that's how parents make it through their days. It is not a delusion that parents think that we're doing this "for the greater good" or that we have to convince ourself that the good outweighs the bad. There is no convincing. The good outweighs the bad eleventy billion to 1 EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I always hope that people become more open minded as our cultures evolve. I jokingly consider myself an "optimistic pessimist" because, while I always want to see the good in people, inevitably I merely smell the shit that is percolating from under the pretty floral facade.
Friday, March 4, 2011
WARNING: Likely not for everyone
I had a dream the other night that I was going to blog about my views on abortion and what the crazies are doing to Planned Parenthood. I think this is because my lovely friend Amy wrote about it here. I will touch on some PP matters later. First, I want to vent.
I've refrained from discussing this extensively because I don't want to offend anyone's beliefs. However, lately my own beliefs are being offended by those who think they know what's best for a complete stranger. I will state that I have never had an abortion and at this point in my life, wouldn't consider one. However....
A few weeks ago (maybe months, the thought has been festering for a while) I was stuck behind a shiny Cadillac. They had a "pro-choice" license plate, frame and a bumper sticker that read "U can't B both Catholic and pro-choice." I am not Catholic, so I can't fully argue with this. However, as a logical person that has been of a "childbearing" age for at least 14 years, I can say that I was a bit put off. Upon passing said vehicle, I can't say I was entirely surprised that a man NO YOUNGER than 70 and a woman I assumed was his wife were driving this car. Seriously? Who are you to say that I can't be pro-choice? Get off your soap box and listen to the generation that can still procreate.
I am going to make a potentially astonishing statement here (well, at least to people that thought higher of me. I apologize in advance for not being the person you thought I was. Oh wait, no I don't-deal with it), and I will try to do it as classy as possible. I participated in pre-marital sex. I was never stupid about it and thankfully, I never had to make the decision to have an abortion, because in high school I was not in any way prepared to have children. Having been pregnant at this point in my life, I don't think that there was anyway that I could have gone through a pregnancy and given my child up for adoption. However, I appreciate that I had the means to obtain a morning after pill, early abortion, whatever, if the need had risen.
The whole pro-life, pro-choice debate is peaking at heights that are too far to come down from. It's becoming a label and it's not healthy. Being pro-choice doesn't mean that one is pro-abortion or a murderer. It simple means that women ABSOLUTELY should have a choice whether they carry and deliver a child. I think it's awful that some states are redefining "rape"--this is the worst possible thing to happen to women everywhere. Of all the things that are wrong in this world, do we really need to focus on redefining rape or cutting funding to Planned Parenthood. (also, is gay marriage really an issue that needs to go through congress....Click Me!!) Does it matter if I'm pro-choice? It's not a black and white situation. I am pro-choice because I don't think it's any of my business if someone decides to terminate a pregnancy. Making abortion illegal will result in back alley clinics providing abortions in unsafe conditions and women using hangers to end their pregnancies. If only people would realize the complete ramifications of making them completely illegal. How is it, that at 26, I can think more logically than the people that we chose to put in Congress?
Now that we're onto PP, I want to inform those of you that haven't needed to use their services don't judge them--they offer medical services outside of abortions. They offer birth control, yearly exams, STD testing, prenatal care and so many other services to low income families. They work on a sliding scale, allowing the patient to set the price that they can afford. They don't try to talk you into abortion. They provide you with counseling and share with you all of your options. They provide accurate information and some clinics even offer basic healthcare.
It's so late, I don't know if I'm following myself anymore. I will get off my soapbox now and go to sleep. Maybe more interesting dreams will spawn into blog posts. Like the dream I had about the awesome house we were going to buy.
I've refrained from discussing this extensively because I don't want to offend anyone's beliefs. However, lately my own beliefs are being offended by those who think they know what's best for a complete stranger. I will state that I have never had an abortion and at this point in my life, wouldn't consider one. However....
A few weeks ago (maybe months, the thought has been festering for a while) I was stuck behind a shiny Cadillac. They had a "pro-choice" license plate, frame and a bumper sticker that read "U can't B both Catholic and pro-choice." I am not Catholic, so I can't fully argue with this. However, as a logical person that has been of a "childbearing" age for at least 14 years, I can say that I was a bit put off. Upon passing said vehicle, I can't say I was entirely surprised that a man NO YOUNGER than 70 and a woman I assumed was his wife were driving this car. Seriously? Who are you to say that I can't be pro-choice? Get off your soap box and listen to the generation that can still procreate.
I am going to make a potentially astonishing statement here (well, at least to people that thought higher of me. I apologize in advance for not being the person you thought I was. Oh wait, no I don't-deal with it), and I will try to do it as classy as possible. I participated in pre-marital sex. I was never stupid about it and thankfully, I never had to make the decision to have an abortion, because in high school I was not in any way prepared to have children. Having been pregnant at this point in my life, I don't think that there was anyway that I could have gone through a pregnancy and given my child up for adoption. However, I appreciate that I had the means to obtain a morning after pill, early abortion, whatever, if the need had risen.
The whole pro-life, pro-choice debate is peaking at heights that are too far to come down from. It's becoming a label and it's not healthy. Being pro-choice doesn't mean that one is pro-abortion or a murderer. It simple means that women ABSOLUTELY should have a choice whether they carry and deliver a child. I think it's awful that some states are redefining "rape"--this is the worst possible thing to happen to women everywhere. Of all the things that are wrong in this world, do we really need to focus on redefining rape or cutting funding to Planned Parenthood. (also, is gay marriage really an issue that needs to go through congress....Click Me!!) Does it matter if I'm pro-choice? It's not a black and white situation. I am pro-choice because I don't think it's any of my business if someone decides to terminate a pregnancy. Making abortion illegal will result in back alley clinics providing abortions in unsafe conditions and women using hangers to end their pregnancies. If only people would realize the complete ramifications of making them completely illegal. How is it, that at 26, I can think more logically than the people that we chose to put in Congress?
Now that we're onto PP, I want to inform those of you that haven't needed to use their services don't judge them--they offer medical services outside of abortions. They offer birth control, yearly exams, STD testing, prenatal care and so many other services to low income families. They work on a sliding scale, allowing the patient to set the price that they can afford. They don't try to talk you into abortion. They provide you with counseling and share with you all of your options. They provide accurate information and some clinics even offer basic healthcare.
It's so late, I don't know if I'm following myself anymore. I will get off my soapbox now and go to sleep. Maybe more interesting dreams will spawn into blog posts. Like the dream I had about the awesome house we were going to buy.
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