Grateful

There are things in life that make me want to stomp my feet, throw my body to the floor, and pull my hair while screaming "NO FAIR! NO FAIR!"

I have been put in my place twice in the past week. The first was last Thursday at the OB office for a BP check. Jack was being incredibly well behaved, enjoying his juice and goldfish and playing with the germy office toys. I texted Todd about my 45 minute wait and how displeased I was considering I have a toddler, and it's not like I'm here for anything big so why can't they just get me back already?

And then? I got to put my foot in my mouth. A woman walked in with 4 kids, pregnant with her 5th and she was about as far along as I am. Her two youngest sat and played with Jack. Between our 5 kids, we were the worst birth control ever. Her little ginger baby and my sweet boy played quietly with the boy's older sister. They snacked, the other mom and I chatted about the fantastic invention that is food in a pouch, and I was humbled.

After Nina scared the crap out of me on Tuesday morning and I left the hospital with an active baby and good health I received some additional bad news that I'm not yet ready to share it online (and might not, as it is not my news to share). To my loyal readers: my babies, my husband, and myself are all doing well.

I realize I complain a lot here, and at life in general. I am a pessimistic optimist. I work my feelings out through my words. I view blogging, and  in general writing, as a way to release my negative emotions. It balances me so that I can focus on spending time with my son without negative thoughts swirling around in my head. When I get rid of the negativity through written words, I find I'm able to focus. I apologize if y'all are sick of hearing about my misery. That's why I quit updating on Facebook and switched my outlet to my blog.

However, I'm not going to complain today. I'm going to list a few things I'm thankful for:

1) I am thankful for my husband. He is my rock, my best friend, and often times my only outlet when I have things I just don't feel comfortable posting here. He encourages me in whatever random crap I decide I want done and always supports me. He provides for our family, allowing me to stay home and raise Jack. He respects that being a stay at home mom isn't easy and doesn't envy that I get paid in poopy diapers.

2) I am thankful for my friends. I have a few good friends who I can share anything with. That kind of trust is hard to come by.

3) I am thankful for my children. Jack has turned out to be such an awesome kid that every night Todd and I reflect on how the hell we're doing it right. Because obviously kids don't just turn out to be incredible on their own. We HAVE to have something to do with it, right? (btw, we're preparing ourselves for a "normal" child in Nina. One that cries, and poops constantly, and whose first word is bound to be "mine!" or "NO!")

4) and of course, I am thankful for my family. I think it goes without saying that without family, you've got nothing. I don't know where I'd be without their support.

Yes, this post is sappy and lacks my witty sarcasm. I will return to complaining and sarcasm tomorrow. Maybe.

Overheard

Todd, returning to bathroom for Jack's bath:

You drown yet? No? Good!

Today Sucked

What happens when a very active baby just stops moving? Your doctor sends you to the hospital for monitoring.

Today started out rushed. I'm not 100% sure why. It just did. On top of feeling rushed, it was raining. Not just raining, torrential, end of the world type raining. I prepared by wearing layers instead of my ill fitting rain coat and sneakers instead of tractionless flip flops. Jack had his rain coat on and I planned on carrying him to the car. I got soaked in the 20 feet from the door to the car. My shoes, pants, and top shirt got soaked through. Joy. On top of the daily stresses, we are singing our refinancing papers this week.

Had to wait for Todd to bring me new shoes and my ill fitting rain coat. I was out of gas in my car. I had to stop for gas, traffic piled up, and I was forced to take a back route to Jack's daycare; a route I had never taken before. In the torrential rain shower.

Did I mention it was raining? Hard? Yes? Well imagine it 4 times as bad as I'm describing and you'll only begin to realize how hard it was raining. Combined with the fact that I didn't know where I was going, 1/2 the cars on the road didn't have ANY lights on, the roads were flooding over, and yeah. I was stressed. I got Jack to daycare 15 minutes late. I called my doctor's office and let them know I was running behind. Since I was there for a BP check, it's not a problem if I'm late. However, my rushing of course raised my blood pressure. And I realized, I haven't felt the baby move all morning.

Normally, anytime I am in the car, Nina kicks the seatbelt and kicks at the waistband of my pants. She jumps around to music, she moves when I sing. Mornings are the most active part of our day and I realized that I haven't felt her move at all. Okay. Late, stressed, and now my crazy active gymnast is suddenly not moving. WTF?

So, I get to the office, the rain stops, I wait and read a book. My blood pressure is high. Duh. Explained about my morning and then mentioned "oh yeah, I haven't felt the baby move." Every week that I go in, the NP or doctor listen to Nina's heartbeat to make sure she's doing well. Today was no exception. We listened, it was strong and we heard movements, but I just wasn't feeling them. Standard protocol when anything out of the norm happens is to put mom on the NST machine. They couldn't do it at the office because the doctor wasn't there today. They had to send me to the hospital. By this time, it's after 10:30 and just HAD TO BE TODAY. Jack's daycare teacher had an appointment at 1, we had planned ahead of time to have her drop off Jack at home. I had to be home.

I called Todd and we arranged for him to drive home and meet Jack in case I was stuck at the hospital. 27 week gestation babies aren't the best for NST monitoring. They have a lot of space, so they move around a lot. When I was pregnant with Jack, Todd used to come to the appointments with me to chase Jack around with the NST monitor. I figured I would be there a while tracing Nina around.

It turns out that Nina was probably just in a position where I wasn't feeling her move. Right now, she's transverse across my belly and her back was facing outward. It wasn't until I was laying, pressing on her with the monitor for about 20 minutes, that she rolled back over and I could feel her again. As soon as she rolled over and I was able to feel her, my blood pressure dropped from 140/80 to 130/68. HUGE difference.

So yeah, today sucks. After all the stress, I'm starting to get a minor headache. Todd and I are both home waiting for Jack and we will evaluate how I'm feeling before he heads back to work. I have eaten lunch, taken some Tylenol, and am enjoying a nice caffeinated beverage. The sun is shining again, it's warmed up enough that all evidence from this morning's monsoon is nearly dry and I am waiting for naptime so I can relax for a bit.

12 Mondays left

Confusion, or what's in a name, pt. 2

There seems to be some confusion with the dates and timeframe I keep using. 12 weeks is 3 months, not 2.5. Yes. I know. I have 12 Mondays before Nina arrives. When looking at a physical calendar, I have two full months and just shy of 3 weeks in November. Depending on my mood, I like to use weeks vs months. I haven't decided which sounds like less time to me. When I think of her due date in terms of Mondays, it seems very soon. When I think in terms of calendar months, it seems too long. When I use weeks, it kind of puts my brain in the middle, even though it's the same thing as Mondays. It's all about perspective, people.

I've also gotten some questions, and assumptions, about Nina's name. Nina is what my family called my grandma Bernice. She was my dad's mom. Josephine was Todd's grandmother. They were very close. My great-grandmother was also Josephine. I want to make it clear that Nina's middle name is solely after Todd's grandmother. Her name was specifically chosen to honor our grandmothers and it's not fair if Todd's grandmother has to share the spotlight. I realize this is kind of silly, considering the people we are choosing to honor are no longer with us. I just feel that it's important that each person we named her after is honored equally. I didn't know my great-grandmother that well, and she has a cousin of mine named after her to be remembered. Semantics, I know, but I'm pregnant, hormonal, and defiant when it comes to arguing the significance of the names we chose.

Jack's first name is uniquely his. It was the only name that Todd and I both loved. We do joke that he's named after our friend Jack, and that we should have always named our first girl Chelsea after our two friends that met and ultimately resulted in Todd and I knowing one another. Jack's middle name is Curtis, after my dad. I could say that he's also named after my brother and my grandfather. The fact is, I don't think of my brother as a Curtis, even though he's reached an age where he prefers to be called Curtis. To me, he will always be Scotty. My grandfather died when I was young, and I don't really remember him beyond the peripheral memory. I was very close to my dad, even after I went to live with my aunt and uncle, and remained close to him until he died. Nina's nickname, Nina Bug, comes from my dad calling me "Bug" when I was little. It's also why we've decided to do her room in ladybugs. It's one of the strongest memories I have of my dad and it's one of the best.

Both names were set and decided before we ever got pregnant with Jack. The possibility of having two kids of the same sex was high, since we never considered having a girl. When we found out we were pregnant with Nina, we had an idea of what boy name we liked and we settled on it despite referring to unknown gender baby #2 as a girl. We knew we wanted at least one more kid, so we had a boy name and a girl name picked out. Nina's name has always been a front contender.

Feeling a bit better

Saturday, for the first time in over a week, I woke up without a headache. Two days back on the Zyrtec and I'm feeling much better. I have had 2 caffeinated beverages and no pain relief, as opposed to the lovely Coke/Tylenol cocktails I've been having all week. I think going back to the Zyrtec was the right decision. I can breathe, my sinuses don't feel terribly swollen. I don't feel sluggish.

In fact, I felt so good, that I prepped freezer meals for the week. We had a ton of frozen chicken that we needed to do something with so I looked up some crock pot recipes and plan on trying those out. This weeks menu consists of teriyaki chicken, sweet and tangy meatballs, lasagna, fajitas, and sausage and peppers. On Sunday, I continued my preparations and made a lasagna for later in the week. If all goes as planned, I won't actually have to cook, nor will we have to actually eat out. 

We are slooowly getting things done and prepared. Every weekend, we tackle something else. This weekend, it was washing and constructing. We put together the new double stroller. That was easy. We made a run to the storage unit and removed some baby essentials. We're leaving the swing parts there until the baby comes, but I grabbed the fabric seat part for washing. I washed the swing, bouncy seat, and car seat covers. I also washed the fuzzy for the car seat (fuzzy is JJ Cole Bundle Me, which I haven't 100% settled on reusing what with the warranty voiding risks), the mattress pad, and Jack's crib skirt (which will be stored with his other pirate bedding stuff, possibly to be made into something useful later on down the line).

I am feeling a bit unmotivated lately. I think I've been doing too much in terms of preparation. I mean, we've got a solid 12 weeks until Nina comes. I still feel like things are incomplete though. If we were to bring her home tomorrow, we'd be okay. But, I still want to get together something with her name on it (thinking a giant wall decal that matches the bedding), we want a new light for the kids' room, we have to hang curtains in our room, we have to get new curtain rods for the main windows. I have a pretty decent sized list of stuff that still needs to be done.

We finally got an okay to close on our refinance. Despite receiving numerous documents saying we owe a crap ton of money in closing costs, our broker is now estimating that we may get money back. Nothing substantial, certainly not the equivalent of what we could have paid them, but still it's nice to know that we're not being completely ripped off. We've waited over 2 months for this process to complete itself. 

Jack has been more communicative lately. I do find that I can tell what he wants better than anyone else, including Todd, but I assume that's simply because I can finally decipher his cues. His vocabulary is definitely expanding and he is now putting some words together. His tantrums...well, let's just say that we've been lucky. I don't want to jinx myself and have a terrible twoer again next week. 

Our biggest problem with him in the last few weeks or so has been meal time. He is a grazer. I've never withheld food from him, but it's starting to look like I'm having to. He's just not eating anything beyond the occasional snack. Now, he can have a pack of fruit snacks after he eats the majority of his meal. In the last few days, he's eating lunch and dinner without a fight. He is enjoying food again. I don't do breakfast, Todd does, and Jack knows that he can play daddy like a fiddle. If Jack won't eat his breakfast, Todd will eventually breakdown and give him a snack. I do not do this. Jack knows this and has been known to take advantage of Todd's determination to make him eat something. Now, I'm not depriving Jack of between meal snacks. I'm just limiting them. He is no longer allowed to graze on dry cereal at will or enjoy package after package of fruit snacks. His snacks are limited to a more formal snack time, with a handful of cereal and a cup of milk, or a package of graham crackers and a cheese stick.

So yeah, 12 weeks until the baby comes. My belly button is officially gone. I'd post a picture, but the scar(s) from my ectopic and gallbladder surgeries is weird looking and my belly button piercing has never closed up. It looks a bit like a long faced alien now. Note to anyone with a belly piercing that plans on becoming pregnant: I wore a ring until I lost my belly button with Jack. I wore my ring after he was born but took it out eventually because the holes got too stretched and I didn't really want to gauge up. Your holes will stretch a bit and remain open. They don't create nasty "V" shaped scars, but they do look a bit wonky post baby. 

My biweekly updates are rounded UP to the c-section and not to the ultrasound measuring due date. Although, even now, she's a week ahead of where they say she's due. I am convinced she's going to come early. Only time will tell on this one. I am preparing myself for a full term baby though, and if we judge Nina by Jack's 3.5 week prematurity, I'm looking at an 8-9lb baby. Blah blah blah, every baby different, blah blah blah aside, I'm still not expecting to bring home a tiny baby. I keep having to remind people to limit the amount of newborn size clothing. Even a month early, Jack had 2-3 newborn outfits and was out of them within a week. 0-3 month outfits are perfectly acceptable. If she comes super early, we'll have time to reevaluate her wardrobe.

Oh dear lord. 12 weeks...

Misery and the Potty

I've had a mild-severe headache for the past week. Sure, it goes away with Tylenol, but it's been rather annoying.

At my OB appointment last week, and the appointment with my regular doctor two days later, we decided to change my current allergy regimen. This was possibly one of the worst decisions I have ever agreed to.

I switched from Zyrtec to Claritin. I began using a nasal spray to hopefully control sinus swelling and thus avoiding Sudafed. The plan was that it would also hopefully help control some asthma symptoms I've been having lately.

None of this worked. I started taking the Claritin and nasal spray (I want to say Flonase, but it could be another type) on Thursday night. Friday morning, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in about 6 or so months. I want to take a moment here and say that migraines don't present "typically" in me (to that, I say what does?) because I don't have sound sensitivity. Normally, as long as I can lay or sit still somewhere in the dark or with my eyes shut, I can "function". This involves not moving at all and with an active toddler, it's hard. Todd did stay home on Friday. My symptoms lasted through the weekend, with me assuming the headaches were because I wasn't used to a nasal spray. So on Sunday night, I didn't take the spray.

I have woken up everyday since with a headache. Jack missed daycare on Tuesday because My headache had me up From 4-7:30 AM. The pain is just bordering between uncomfortable and functional; but leaving the house and exposing myself to sunshine seems to be when the pain peaks at its worst. I don't need Todd here, but I have relied heavily on those annoying Little Einsteins as helpful babysitters. I am trying to stay equally hydrated and caffeinated, which helps to some extent. Potty training has been moved to the back burner until I can focus both of my eyes on the same thing without it feeling like someone is prodding my brain with some type of Egyptian mummification device.

When I went in for my BP check this week (postponed tues to thurs) my BP was a bit high. Not worrisome, but enough to draw some baseline labs. It's been creeping up the last month or so, and I'm ever grateful that I'm going weekly to monitor it. Todd's optimism never fails. He helped me through some mild panic yesterday by reminding me that we are already a month further than when I was placed on bed rest with Jack. I only have 2.5 more months to go with miss Nina and if I have to go on bed rest now, I know my MIL will be there for support. He had to talk me out of a full on panic attack after receiving the worst blood draw of my life.

I have excellent veins. I have even better veins when I am hydrated, which I was yesterday. I also have a history of nearly fainting when my blood is drawn. Fertility treatments and pregnancy blood draws helped with that, but I still cannot see the blood leaving my body or discuss what is happening. The woman that drew me always manages to leave a bruise, so often that I usually drive about 20 minutes out of my way to go to the other lab. I had three pokes on Monday for my GD test and none of the marks left a bruise. The guy that drew me was quick, efficient, and was excellent at distractions. yesterday, the woman missed my vein, had to fish, hit something "hard" and proceeded to tell me all about it. Combine the stress of the draw with the fact that my toddler was running around the room and I got a bit woozy. Not good. My arm hurt to bend at the elbow for the next 20 minutes or so. Thanks lady, today I have a bruise.

How has Jack been this week? I would never have believed that he is 2. He will occasionally jump on me and scream if I'm laying on the couch, but he's 2 and mommy has largely ignored him for about a week now. He does seem to know I'm not feeling well. He comes up to me and tries to give me pillows, blankets, or bring me his Mickey or Woody, and sometimes is so confused why mommy is crying that he offers up his beloved binky. He says "mama owie?" and tries to kiss my invisible owies better. This usually involves him pulling up my shirt and pointing at my belly button and saying "ow?" as he kisses my belly better. No tantrums, minor whining, and he lets me know if he wants a diaper change or to sit on the potty. He's been, in a word, awesome. I am very lucky to have him instead of a monster toddler.

Despite my neglect in the potty training area, he lets us know when he wants to pee. Last night after his bath, he was enjoying some naked playtime (read: running away when we tried to put a diaper on or get his teeth brushed) when he stopped, grabbed his penis and said "yellow?" I yelled at Todd to put him on the potty. He sat, peed, and signed "more" while saying "yellow!" I'm assuming "yellow" means m&ms in this case, since he gets m&ms for going pee. Despite having finally brushed his teeth, I gave him m&ms because he recognized his need, let us know, and held his pee while Todd ran and got the potty seat. We were so impressed by Jack that we just kept reflecting on it. It beat out last weekend's start-stop-run to the potty incident that resulted in a tiny accident. I'm honestly amazed at how easy this process has been. It's certainly not what I expected when we decided to potty train. It's also not quite what I envisioned and hoped. We were hoping for another quick Jack led weaning, but he just doesn't want to give up his diapers just yet. Maybe we're just not there yet. Perhaps after his first poop in the potty.

Nina's 3D Ultrasound

Today I ventured out of the house after having my glucose test. I was able to get a quick nap in this afternoon after the stupid drink of death. It wasn't enough. I'll be sleeping well tonight.

Anyway. Ventured out for Nina's 3D ultrasound. Good news, my pregnancy is going so well that I won't need more ultrasounds unless my BP spikes in the next few weeks. So, on the off chance that I wasn't going to have any problems, Todd and I decided to pay for the 3D experience out of pocket. We didn't have one with Jack. However, I have 8 million different pictures of every conceivable body part of Jack's and only pictures of Nina's face. I also wanted to ease my mind that she's still a girl!

Here goes:

We think she looks a lot like Jack. There appears to be a dimple in a few pictures. She was cooperative and is indeed still a girl.

Conversations with my husband

Last night, while rushing out to the hallway to figure out what the cats could have possibly destroyed I smacked my foot into something hard and now my foot hurts. This morning, I shut the recliner and smacked the back of the same foot on the hard edge of the foot rest. I know, I know, quit being a baby.

Me: Ow! That hurts!
Jack: Ow? *walks to me and examines my foot* ow?
Me: Owie! Jack, kiss mommy's foot!
Jack: *runs away giggling maniacally*
Me: How come no one ever kisses my boo-boos?
Todd: I kiss your boobies all the time!
Me: NOT my boobies, my boo-boos!

(this was not a misunderstanding, Todd was just being funny)

Also this morning after Jack pooped:

Todd (to Jack): C'mere pooper! You can't run from me, I'm the pooper scooper! Oh. I don't like that. Why does daddy have to be the pooper scooper?
Me: Because I'm the pooper scooper the other 5 days of the week.

Potty training is beginning full force this weekend and Jack is getting bribed for sitting on the potty as well as producing pee or poop.

Jack is looking through his "big boy" underpants:
Todd: Here's Jake, and Mickey, and let's see. That's Fanny Manny. Or Handy Manny. Whatever.
Me: What did you call him?
Todd: *holds up underwear with Handy Manny's picture on the back* Well, technically he is "Fanny Manny"!

We've got so many more of these. I should start documenting them. Todd certainly keeps our house in the funny

26 week OB appointment

My blood pressure is apparently creeping up. Crap. However, there are circumstances that raised it. I took Sudafed this morning to help me breath through my sinuses and also used my inhaler to be able to breath period, both of which raise blood pressure. It was 140/72. I've been instructed to avoid Sudafed from this point on and talk to my primary doctor about something possibly stronger/inhaled for my allergies.

Weight, baby measurements, heartbeat all good. Doctor doesn't care about the position right now because it's still early and I'm having a scheduled c-section. We went over what happens if I go into labor on my own (at the right time, of course, not at 26 weeks) and how my labor and pushing went with Jack. I would love to be able to have a VBAC, but there are circumstances which make me an unlikely candidate. I believe when I first posted about my scheduled c-section I talked about how many abdominal surgeries I've had. It's important to also remember that my pelvis didn't expand like it should have which is probably why Jack got stuck in the first place. Considering he was 3 1/2 weeks early and a 7lb baby, the doctor doesn't think I should risk hitting that fetal distress emergency point again. It is stressful for both me and baby, and there's the whole labor to pushing to emergency c-section may equal hard recovery.

Honestly, I didn't have a hard recovery with my first c-section. I had an easy labor, considering I was induced and labored for more than 24 hours, about 16 hours unmedicated, progressed slowly until my water broke on its own and then I went from 6-9cm in less than an hour and the grandmas just barely made it back in time for the pushing to begin. I pushed for close to an hour with Jack until he started showing signs of fetal distress during contractions because his forehead was stuck on my uncooperative pelvic bone. Poor guy. My c-section was ideal, as far as emergency surgeries go, with no complications and my recovery was awesome. I was off narcotic pain medication within 2 days of leaving the hospital and that includes coming home from the hospital, making a Target run for some essentials and medications, going to the grocery store, doing a load or two of laundry, and then going out to dinner. It was a busy day, and I had a lot of help. I will have help after Nina comes, too, so I anticipate my recovery will be fairly uncomplicated. I am also preparing for an (hopefully) unlikely early delivery. I'll be damned if I have a house full of dirty clothes to come home from the hospital to this time.

I recover very well from surgery. The only time I remember having any issues was after my jaw surgery. I was 15, had never had surgery and because my jaw was wired shut, really couldn't get enough calories to keep me upright. Even with midnight nausea, I had limited pain and recovered well. My ectopic and gallbladder surgeries were "major" surgery but were done laproscopically, so the recovery was easy. Even with a 1/nearly 2 year old bouncing around like a crazy monster on my belly both times. The most problematic symptom of the gallbladder surgery was the right shoulder pain/tightness from the gas used to expand the belly during the procedure. That sucked, but was gone after 2 days and only affected the ability to sleep in my bed. I compromised and slept in a recliner. It worked out!

The point of this long winded nonsense is that I'm comfortable with my decision to schedule my c-section. I think it's the right thing for me. I've done research on VBAC, I know the risks and benefits of both options, I understand that vaginal is the natural route for babies to come, but my pelvis is hostile towards babies and I don't want to risk another emergency c-section if my suspicions are correct and Nina also gets stuck. But, naysayers to scheduled c-sections say, what about bonding with your baby? Babies should be with mom from the second they're born! It's natural! It's hormonal! Well, I'm sorry, but it's gross. I don't mean to be all icky and blech about something so natural and wonderful (because birth is amazing, regardless of how baby comes out!), but I still get slightly queasy when I see my blood drawn. Granted, I'm much better after weekly blood draws from the PIH and don't need to lay down, but I still cannot see my own blood leaving my body. I did get a look at Jack before the nurses cleaned him off after the c-section and it was the only time during my surgery that I felt sick. Please, clean my baby off, or you will have a passed out mama.

My hospital doesn't keep babies in the nursery unless mom specifically asks begs the nurses to take baby because he won't stop crying even after being fed, changed, and loved and it's been an exhausting two days and mom could really use some sleep. Go ahead, give him the tiny amount of pumped breastmilk and a formula bottle. Just let me sleep so I don't throw him out the hospital window :) Todd and I got about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep and Jack came back the next morning to some boob and a bink. He was perfect, and our bond wasn't broken. Yes, they took him to the nursery immediately after he was born, but remember, he was in fetal distress and was stuck against my pelvic bone so they had to make sure he didn't suffer any problems. He had high apgar scores and they brought Jack to me as soon as I was in the recovery room (I think Todd said we were only separated for about 20 minutes). I still loved my baby, he still seemed to know me via scent, and we bonded more than I could ever imagine being emotionally drawn to another person in my life.

Next week I get to go in for my glucose tolerance test. Oooooh! Exciting, nasty fake soda drink. I will definitely have to treat myself to a new book for the 2 hour test. I also have my 3D ultrasound on Monday. It's a busy week.

My child is napping. I should probably take advantage of the downtime and nap as well. Gotta get that sleep while I still can, right?

26 Weeks

Somehow, I feel this picture makes me look smaller than last week's. Maybe the lack of stripes? 

Ignore the litter box, please. I am too lazy to crop and repost.

This weekend I kept Todd on his toes. I made him break out the Home Depot card, claiming we could pay it off real quick after we close on refinancing, and purchase some stuff so that I could start getting things done. We bought the kids' closet organizer and some storage bins. Their closet is about 5' wide, the package for the organizer claimed to fit closets from 4-9' but in small print informed us that anything under 6' required hanging poles to be cut. We altered the appearance a bit, the right side is about 6-8 inches from the interior wall and is wide enough to just fit a couple of folding chairs. Perfect, without fear of the chairs falling over onto Jack's head while he plays. I apologize for the dark photos; they're taken with my phone and I didn't open the curtains in Jack's room to allow for more natural light.

Fancy closet organization

Board games are in their closet for now, but I would like to move them and install drawers for more clothing storage. I anticipate little girl tights, booty covers, and ruffly socks will overtake Jack's "just socks" drawer. The lower three shelves will likely remain toy storage. The black Ikea bins fit perfectly in the cubby holes. Might have to pick a few more up when we go back to Ikea for more curtain rods for our bedroom.

New and improved kids' room. Penguin is trying hard to compete with the rocking giraffe.

I didn't do too much to their room. When it was just Jack's room, the changing table was where the crib is and the crib was approximately where Jack's big boy bed is (which I made JUST to take pictures, please ignore the crowded crib in which I have placed every stuffed animal Jack owns until I figure out what to do with them.) Under the crib are storage bins that I have filled with books; we took the bookcase out of their room to provide a bit more play space. I will probably have to find an easier home for them, though, as Jack lacks the necessary upper body strength to pull the heavy bins out. There are three in total. That's a lot of books! I rehung the shelves above the changing table and next weekend our goal is to move Jack's letters over the top of his bed. Having them off center is driving me bonkers. 

Now that we have their new and improved space, I am once again motivated to do laundry and hang and fold their clothing. I know I have some stuff coming from the grandmas and I can't wait to hang some more girl stuff in the closet. The bedding that we have chosen for Nina isn't purchased yet, but from the pictures should complement Jack's coloring nicely without looking too girly or babyish. The walls will stay blue. I like the softness of the color and the vinyl cloud decorations are fitting for both a pirate and ladybug theme. The blue tape border will probably come down because I don't think we're going to end up doing a pirate border anymore. 

I have an actual OB appointment tomorrow (as opposed to just a BP check with the NP). There's not much we need to go over beyond how I'm feeling, my BP anxiety, and how well baby is doing. We've scheduled a 3D ultrasound for the 20th, to confirm that Nina is still a girl. I'm very excited about that, because we get to see her again and because Jack has SO MANY ultrasound pictures I don't want her to feel like we just didn't care. My doctor talked me out of one with Jack by scaring me about a possible correlation between too many ultrasounds and autism and then my blood pressure skyrocketed and we had an ultrasound every 3 weeks for three months, plus additional random ones when Jack wouldn't cooperate during my NSTs. Thanks a lot, doctor, I'm not sure how much difference one more ultrasound would have made. So far though, this pregnancy is turning out to be completely normal (read: constipation, gas, tossing and turning, nausea, heartburn, and every other random "normal" symptom I didn't have with Jack) and probably won't require a third trimester ultrasound unless something funky comes up.

14 weeks until Nina arrives. So long to go, but so quick to come. Can't wait to meet you, little one :)

Receiving Compliments

Jack is reaching the age where he likes to really help. He throws away his diapers, he will follow basic commands, he is starting to let us know when he wants to use the potty. He also, bless his sweet heart, gets Mama a Coke from the fridge when asked (and sometimes when not, which is why we have a fridge lock). I've trained him well, I think.

Yesterday, Jack and I went to lunch together after playgroup. I needed to run an errand and planned on stopping at Panera first. There is a pair of sisters that go there occasionally for lunch and I've had the pleasure (please read: annoyance that they interact with me while I'm trying to eat my lunch and wrangle my toddler into a high chair, thank you for your compliments, but do you mind?) of interacting with them on a couple of occasions. We walked into the crowded restaurant yesterday and immediately one sister said "your son is just adorable" and I thanked her. She followed up with "is he a little terror?" and I had to reply with an honest no. I'm not sure why that would be the first question someone asks me, but it's always the same from the sisters (I think I've interacted with them 3-4 times). I wasn't about to stand in a 30 minute line for a sandwich so we went next door to 5 Guys. Jack sat and ate peanuts and his hot dog in a regular chair while I enjoyed my hamburger. This is so rare.

We have been taking Jack to restaurants since he came home from the hospital and while he usually has fairly good restaurant manners, he's been getting a bit willful. I got several compliments yesterday on how nicely my son behaved without being restrained in a high chair. I couldn't help but leave in a fantastic mood. I love when strangers compliment my son on his behavior. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right as a parent.

Pregnancy Woes

Yesterday I had a blood pressure check. This was a particularly stressful check as Jack was out of daycare, Todd had to drive me because I keep having dizzy spells, I was worried I'd be scolded by the nurse for not calling in over the weekend for my random dizzy/nausea/contraction spells. My blood pressure was high: 140/68 and it was determined that I need to relax.

Here's the deal: I am relaxed. Well, physically, I do NOTHING. I swear. My contractions happen when I walk up the stairs, similar to how my BH happened when I walked up the big hill at school while pregnant with Jack. And a week later, I was diagnosed with having high blood pressure. The weekly checks are keeping me calm because I know my doctor and nurses are taking me seriously. I drink more water than I ever imagined drinking (we're talking upwards of 100oz/day), I try to eat healthy(ish--I have cravings), and I spend every extra moment possible laying on my left side. The last few days I just can't shake the feeling that something is off.

Discussing it with my doctor and nurses, I am doing everything right. When it comes down to it, PIH can't really be avoided. I can only attempt to keep my stress level down to keep me sane. I am trying. It doesn't help that I have a suicidal two-year old normal boy toddler, half working A/C, our mortgage company keeps pushing back our closing and that my nesting instincts must be pushed back with the closing because of finances. Sure, I could nest other ways (like laundry, cleaning, organizing with what I've got) but I look at the current state of things and can't get past how I want things eventually and it's so much easier just to ignore what needs to be done until I have the means to do it as I want. I am imagining the kids room organized and without storage solutions, I am left with piles or boxes of stuff to be put elsewhere when I can actually get something done. Piles that Jack routinely destroys, so what's the point?

The kitchen counter and table are always covered in stuff. I don't even know. It's mail?? I think. Possibly some books and assorted paperwork that needs to remain at hand but isn't vitally important to our day to day life (mortgage stuff, they keep sending us new paperwork every time they change the date. We probably have four copies of the same thing where the only difference is the date). My most recent insane plan is to store the kitchen table and turn the dining room into an office/playroom. Because I'm insane, apparently. Also, it would be nice to have a block and rock free area for Nina to be safe from Jack's cyclonic tendencies. I really should post some before and after time stamped photos. I was accused recently of probably having a spotless house all the time. I have no idea where the hell this person got that idea. I do everything I can to avoid cleaning. Actually, he compared my OCD present wrapping tendencies to my house cleaning. Pretty sure he's thinking because I can wrap a present with perfect corners that I must be Martha Stewart. I just enjoy pretty wrapping.

I know I just got back from vacation, but I think I need a break. Disney World was awesome, but I still had a small child to worry about. I had to watch him, feed him, change him. In my mind, a vacation is a break from all of that. I know Todd is doing his best to try and help me out and he's been more intuitive lately than he has been before. However, I can see that even he is starting to stress about what's going to happen in 3 1/2 months and how our home is so NOT ready to bring a newborn into. Also, he's been taking over a lot of Jack duties on the weekends and is starting to realize why I am snippy every night. Everything is sort of thrown into chaos right now. We're in this financial and planning limbo until we know what's going on with our mortgage. The money we plan on saving each month from the refinance is already virtually spent through the end of the year and each time the date gets pushed back we have to knock something off our want list. In the meantime, he suggests that I start lists. One for things that need to get done around the house (omg organizing, new baby gate so Jack can have access to the upstairs bathroom once we get him potty trained but still keep him out of the cat food, move the shelves, just for example) and one for things we need before the baby arrives (which isn't much beyond a double stroller and her bedding and some winter essentials). We have an Amazon wishlist started for her of things that I have deemed somewhat necessary for her arrival. The grandmas have forbidden me from purchasing additional clothing for her.

In the grand scheme of things, we're mostly prepared. She has a bed, kind of. She won't actually be using the crib until we've established nursing and some sort of sleep schedule. We have the carseat, which is probably the most important thing since you're not allowed to leave the hospital without one. We have blankets and a swing and a "plan" for what happens when she comes home (read: follow her cues, what the hell do you mean "plan" she's a newborn, morons, it's her job to make you crazy). Of course, I'll have help. Todd's mom will be here from the week before she's due until as close to Christmas as I can convince her to stay.

I just can't write anymore. I'm aware of what a whiny post this is, because god woman, just get off your ass and do a load of laundry. But, I'm stuck. I just can't right now. Watching Mickey Mouse with my two-year old just seems like a much better plan.

Funky

I've woken up the last few mornings in a funk. Not sure why. I have these horrible center of my forehead headaches that last through the morning until about lunch. I think that's about the time the second caffeinated beverage kicks in. They've been sucking. They're not quite "headed into migraine territory" bad, but they cause me to be grumpy and snappy. Especially when I groan and the question "what's wrong?" is asked over. And over. And over again. Or when I wake up to take a shower, hoping that maybe the steam will help my headache, only to discover even though I let it run for the requisite 3 minutes to warm up that it's freezing cold. Thanks. Then there's the uncooperative child. I can't even imagine having two right now.

To possibly cheer myself up, since I'm skipping playgroup this morning to recover from my nonexistent hangover, I made some Cinnamon Toast Crunch muffins. They're currently in the oven. I hope those turn out. On a naughty note, I licked the spatula. Before anyone comments about me eating raw eggs for breakfast, please take a moment to consider that I buy non-organic, possibly not free range, pasteurized eggs and a lick of the spatula isn't going to kill me or the baby. In fact, she seems to really enjoy her raw eggs because she's now bouncing around again.

Todd and I decided that since Jack is taking so well to our "not" potty training that we may as well drop the "not" and just call it what it is. Jack's interest is more than what I imagined it would be. Considering I quit bribing him to sit on the toilet two days ago (read: "quit" to mean "forgot") and he still sits several times a day and we haven't had pee on the floor since the weekend, I think it means we're in full on training mode. He's off from daycare next week so we're going to go at it pretty hardcore. Unfortunately, I just bought a huge box of diapers at BJs. They'll store, right? Haha. We still haven't gotten him to poop on the potty. That's mostly my fault. After his first pee, I slap a diaper on him and do chores go on Facebook or check my blogs while he continues to finish breakfast. After he finally finishes, we play for a bit and he poops and I missed my opportunity. Next week we'll begin naked training and focus on the timer.

We have two problems with Jack's potty training. One, he doesn't care that he's wet or that he's poopy. He just started letting us know that he's uncomfortable with a hugely wet diaper. Well. Not exactly "uncomfortable" more like he just brings it to our attention. He thinks it's funny when he can shake his diaper back and forth and it hits his thighs. The second problem is his language. At first, we were using different words to describe pee and poop. Now we just use pee and poop. We're trying to focus on the action and connecting the word to the production. He just has to start saying them. For the last couple of days, we've been following his cues when he wants to use the potty. Usually, he brings his little potty to us, grabs his crotch and whines a bit. We ask if he has to pee and he'll say yes or no. If we're upstairs, he goes to the big toilet and will open the lid and bring down his little seat. We use this toilet seat in our upstairs bathroom because there's just not room for his step stool, the scale, AND a toddler potty. When we first introduced Jack to the toilet, he preferred the grown up toilet. Now he doesn't care. He'll use both. Either way, he gets to flush his own deposit! That's more exciting than gummy bears, apparently.

I'm going to go ingest a bit more caffeine and get some food in my stomach so that I can get rid of this headache. I have a ton of errands to run that can't be pushed back an additional day. Like cat food and litter. Both of which we've needed for a couple of days now. The cats become all predatory when the food is low and I'm scared Strider will eat my toes in the night.