A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday

Dear Nina,

Dearest sweet baby girl: You're one! You're beautiful, funny, and so smart. I can't even begin to express how happy you've made us over the last year. You completed our family.

One Year

Your last update was at 9 months. I haven't been a very good mommy blogger lately, probably because you keep us on our toes! You're learning to walk and climb. You're perfecting your wobbly baby steps and have progressed from arms out zombie walk to a slightly more stable gait. You still prefer to crawl, as it's so much faster, but you're getting much braver with your steps. Tonight, you astounded us by standing without supporting your upper body with the floor. Just popped right up. It surprised you to, and we laughed and clapped as you quickly fell back down onto your bum. It didn't keep you down, you popped yourself back up and down about 10 times in a row. Trouble, kid, is what you are!

UPDATE: On your first birthday, you stood up in the middle of the room and took more consecutive steps than you ever have before. Now, four days later, you're walking almost exclusively. You do trip over some toys, but man...you're a mover!

Newborn Nina

Little Bit Bit, we must discuss your blatant daddy preference in the mornings. I know you've got him wrapped around your tiny finger, but really? Screaming when he leaves? Conversely, you don't want anything to do with him when he gets home from work. I get to do a little happy dance until the moment you realize you still adore your bearded mountain man daddy.

Words. Oh, with the words! You say nah nah, Jack, dada, mama, baba, whasdat!? and pbthhh! I think you sometimes say Nina, but it's hard to distinguish from the demanding nah nahs. Nah nah means nurse. You wave hello and goodbye. When someone says "hello!" you immediately put whatever is in your hand up to your ear as though you're talking on the phone. Probably to daddy.. traitor (said with love!)

Your world revolves around your brother. Doesn't matter what he's doing, you want to be a part of his moment. It's been leading to some affectionate aggression, and we're trying to work with Jack to not be too rough. Your days of being the fragile sibling are numbered, though, as you can certainly dish out as much as you can take. You guys love watching Bubble Guppies and Mickey together.

You eat everything we give you. You seem to have a preference for our salsa or fajita type chicken meals. The slow cooked chicken is tender enough to eat and you seem to adore rice. Your favorite food after milk is peas. You will eat, by yourself, at least 1/4 cup of peas. One at a time. Drives your brother nuts, as we don't let him leave the table until we're all done eating.  "Eeny all done da food?" "No." "Ugh! Eeny! You eat dat food so I get down and pway!"

I can't wait to wake you up and sing happy birthday to you. I can't wait to see your beautiful smile and enjoy that moment where you see me and reach your arms up and say MaMa! Happy birthday, Squish. Let's hope the next one doesn't come too quick!

The 9th Month

I yoldin' Eeny's yand!

Well, here we are again. Another baby has passed her 9 month mark. I love this age. It's right before full  mobility, but still safe enough to put down in one room and be able to pee without total destruction in all other rooms.

It's funny. With Jack, we had the baby gate up. He was constantly trying to find ways out of the rooms we were in. Nina prefers to be right with us, enjoying the chaos as it unfolds. The gate is down probably 75% of the time.

 STATS: I don't have anything official until next week, but she's right around 20 pounds. She's crawling, cruising, and testing standing without assistance. She has taken single steps from pieces of furniture (ok, it was the toilet to the bathtub. I let my baby play around the nasty toilets. Don't judge. She's the second kid, it's called immunities!)

Silly face!

She eats....everything. She doesn't have time to be fed purees. She's too busy, too BIG. She'll suck a squeezy down on her own, but if you try to shove food in her mouth with a spoon she screams. I suppose we're doing "baby led weaning" although I prefer to say we're doing what feels natural. I hate that I have to classify how I'm parenting with a "movement". Nina eats what we eat, for the most part. I let her taste and try lots of different textures. With Jack, we did so many purees, and bland foods, it's no wonder he's a picky eater with a preference for PB&J and chicken nuggets. I can't definitively say that Nina won't be the same way, but we're at least going to try something different and hope that she'll at least try flavor.

We got things to do, Hartley Bear!

MY TURN!

As for sleeping. No, she doesn't sleep through the entire night. Most nights we have one wake up and then we bring her into bed with us. This works for us. I know not everyone agrees with bed sharing or cosleeping. I can't let my babies cry it out. Not going to happen (at least on purpose. I'm not denying that it works. It happened with Jack accidentally one night on vacation when we couldn't hear him). I believe that our natural instinct is to respond to our baby's needs. I'm thankful I'm in a position to not have to rely on a harsh schedule and we are able to go with the flow. She does have a "schedule" in that she naps about 2 hours after she wakes up, 2-3 hours after that, and then 2-3 hours after that it's bedtime. Lately, bedtime has been between 7-9. It's best on nights in which both kids are asleep around 8.

He loves her so much!

As for Jack, well...the binky fairy visited our house last night. This was not planned, but after a particularly difficult night of "find the binky" we gave up. He slept without it, asked about it the next day but didn't push the issue beyond a few minutes of crying. It wasn't forced, it was a product of circumstance. There was a lot of pressure from people to "have that thing gone...[insert ridiculous past date here as though you spend every day with my kid]." I'm glad you know my kid better than I do. He was using it for comfort. Now, because we've removed the binky from his mouth he's replaced it with his fingers. I'd rather have the binky, honestly, and it's why I pushed for the binky from the start. I didn't want a thumb sucker. I was a thumb sucker. So gross. Nothing like having slobbery hands touch you all day. Can't wait to see how many "I told you so's" I hear in the coming weeks.

I find that the longer I am a parent, the more my views on life change. Or evolve. Which is only natural I guess. Before I was pregnant with Jack, my goal was to breastfeed. I didn't have any idea about attachment parenting, baby led weaning, what being a TIME Magazine "REAL MOM" was, Ferberizing, etc. I went in expecting the absolute worst. We figured we'd have a high maintenance baby. He would cry, and be colicky, and we'd have to deal with formula, and diapers, and feeding, and choking, and the 9,432,123,543 other things parents worry about. What we got with Jack was the opposite. He was mellow. He was cuddly, he was quiet, he never put anything into his mouth. He loved his Zelda, his mommy and daddy, and his binky. He preferred when we didn't sing. We read the first 5.5 Harry Potter books to him until he went on a book strike. I didn't realize how much I loved nursing him until he weaned himself at 13 months. 

With Nina, we went into parenting not knowing what the hell we were doing. Her first poop, mere hours after she was born (Jack took a few days due to the jaundice) left us feeling like noobs. We had to call in the nurse because we had no idea how to clean girl parts. That should have been our first clue Nina was going to be a whole new can of worms. Which, duh, she's a different baby, there are bound to be differences. First, Nina was LOUD. Jack didn't discover his voice until last week (slight exaggeration, but he really was very quiet). She hit mobility MONTHS before Jack. She teethed before Jack. She crawled, on her hands and knees. Jack army crawled until he walked and only then did he perfect crawling belly up. Nina puts absolutely everything in her mouth. She tastes clothes. We were unprepared for this sort of baby. We got lax with Jack. Bad idea. Jack said "mama" first, Nina said "dada". And the biggest difference, and most difficult to deal with: Nina HATES, with a firey passion only reserved for needles and bees in this house, HATES the car. They are so opposite it's crazy. 

And the rambling time has ended. I have so many other meaningless things to write about. I just don't have the time. Right now, I'm simultaneously typing, nursing, talking to my toddler, and trying to keep Nina from spraying milk all over the computer because the typing is distracting her. See ya again in 3 months when I get around to the 1 year update!

It's a good thing he's so fracking cute

Jack comes downstairs and plays in the hallway for a second. He runs into the living room and announces "DIS STOP YOU, MOMMY! YOU CAN'T PASS!"

I am immediately concerned. I investigate. At first, I play along. I tell him not to play in the bathroom. 

"I not pwayin' in dat water, mommy! YOU STOP!"

I hear him making vacuum noises. I am concerned.

Mommy Barrier, obviously

Second line of defense

I ascend halfway up the steps. Jack peeks around the corner of the landing and shouts at me.

"STOP, MOMMY! YOU CAN'T SEE! GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS!"

....um, no?

Just 48 hours ago he got in big trouble for playing in the cat food. Time out, yelled at. He apologized. 

"I not pway wif dat cat food again"

Consequences were discussed. I gave him a choice today: Beating, or nap.

"Beat me, Mommy. I not tired!"

He scooped out all of the cat food

Oh my. He's now in bed for a forced rest. I'm downstairs laughing with my fists in my mouth because my son is obviously learning to outsmart me.

Wherein I am vomited on by my baby

This requires a bit of backstory. Jack thinks it's hilarious when Todd uses Yoshi to suck up toys and spit the out. It is so beloved that it's been incorporated into our bedtime story. Nina also finds it funny.

On that note, I was pretending to be Yoshi and slurped Nina and spit her out over and over again. She loved it. And then we entered an Exorcist scene. As I pulled her back to spit her out, she spectacularly vomited all down my front. 

I've never caused my children to projectile vomit on me until now. But, I'm a mom with two busy kids, so I changed my shirt, wiped myself down with a dry napkin, and shared my grossness with the world. YOU'RE WELCOME.

People who don't find out the sex of their baby are cute. There are many more surprises in life!

I've discovered over the past couple of weeks that I am still being surprised as a parent. You'd think after Jack shot poop across the room when he was a couple of weeks old that little would surprise me. You'd be wrong. 

First: lengthy, detailed emails regarding poop and potty training

Second: diarrhea in a toddler can and will happen in the middle of Toys R Us. He'll call it monster poop

Third: toddlers don't always tell you when they have to use the restroom (see example 2)

Finally: when mommy's back is turned for not even a minute, the newly crawling baby will get into everything. Including the toddler potty. Yes, my 6.5 month old just turned her brother's (unknowingly full) toddler potty into a mini splash pad. Gleefully. 

We're working on communication skills. I don't think I can take anymore surprises.

On lighter news, we're almost mostly potty trained. Working on the poop thing. 

Crawling

It's official. Nina, you're hitting too many milestones at once. I guess it's all those sausage Mcmuffins and Doritos I ate while pregnant with you. Your brother got fruits, veggies, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and yet you're crawling about 4 months earlier than he did. 

Let's see, I was going to wait until your 7 month update to post all your new stuff but I'm too scared you'll be moving out and living in sin with your creepy biker boyfriend by that point. You crawl, duh, that's what this post is titled. You pull up on everything, you're starting to cruise around your crib, you frequently pull up to the couch and steal your brother's shoshelly sammich (peanut butter and jelly sandwich). At least we can safely say you're not allergic to peanuts. Oops. Sorry kid, that's what happens when you're #2! 

Let us talk about sleeping. I know you're trying to forgo it cold turkey, but you're killing us. Crawling, standing, and hitting mommy with remotes in the middle of the night seems fun now, but believe me, when you're older you'll realize sleeping is awesome. It keeps the mommy from losing her mind during the day!

I never did a stat update: Jack is 35.5 inches tall and 31 pounds. Nina is 18.1 pounds and 26 inches tall. 

To my body. Is it too late to work on our relationship?

Dear Body,

I know I've put you through a lot in the last few years: carrying babies, 4 surgeries, and that crazy 40lb weigh loss after Nina! But do you think, maybe, you could let my hips and knees work like a normal 28 year old? The popping out of alignment and random giving out is kinda putting a damper on our relationship. I'm starting to resent you and it's just not working for me anymore. I realize that carrying babies is hard, believe me, I do. I was there. But other, more affected parts are in fine working order...even the back kicked it up and quit spasming. 

We need to start working together again if we're going to survive the next 10 years of active children. We have so much more lifting and bending to do together that I would really appreciate it if you started working at at least 75% again. It's not like I'm asking for full participation here. Just try a little harder not to sound like a 4th of July celebration when I get up off the floor. For me? Kthanks. 

Reminder: put 4/22 down as the first day Nina finagled her way from belly to sitting on her own. Can't forget that since both my phone and iPad memories were too full to capture it on video. 

Interested in Cloth Diapers?

I have joined the Imagine Advocacy Program as an Independent Advocate! If you or a friend are interested in cloth diapers, whether you have a baby, are pregnant, or are planning on having children eventually, I would love to be the person you go to for questions and product recommendations! Please, ask me about laundering, fit, poop, storage, etc! I love talking about my diapers.

We use cloth diapers for Nina, and Imagine diapers are definitely my and Todd's favorites. They're easy to use, adorable, well made, and best of all inexpensive! Imagine AIO diapers (our favorite!) are listed at an introductory price of $10.95. Other leading diaper brands sell for nearly twice as much. In terms of cloth diapers, unbelievable low cost is usually indicative of a lower quality product which includes shoddy manufacturing or inferior fabrics. However, I can personally guarantee that Imagine diapers are just as absorbent and sturdy as other leading brands. 

We got interested in cloth diapers when we decided to have a second baby as a way to save money. We tried them out with Jack and it didn't work for us at that time. But Todd and I knew we wanted to look into it for our second baby. When Nina was a week old she got a terrible diaper rash from the disposables we were using. We switched to cloth part time but she was still going through so many diapers that we stuck with disposables most of the time. When she was about 2-3 months old we hit a roadblock of problems. Her thighs prevented disposables from sealing and we had leaks. And not easy pee soaks. Yeah. It was bad. I threw out several outfits that just couldn't be saved. Combined with the fact that her little lady parts were so sensitive to disposables, we decided to switch. When we made the decision, I knew the brands I liked and my Imagine diapers were among the first we bought. 

Couldn't get one without the tongue.
Although, I would consider it false advertising if she weren't herself!

In total, we've spent around $300 on diapers. In terms of disposables, between the two kids, we would have spent about $2400 on diapers to put both kids through 3 years of diapers. We use Luvs, so that's a middle of the road diaper in terms of price. With proper care, my $300 in diapers will make it through Nina's potty training (let's face it, I love cloth. I want more, let's add another $100 to our eventual total!) Resale on cloth is surprisingly high. You can make back about 50% of your money by reselling on craigslist, or diaperswappers, or even ebay!

At this point, I don't have samples beyond my own diapers (coming soon, though!! or, if you're local, definitely ask about Nina's cute bum wear!), but you're welcome to check out my personal advocacy page. While we prefer the all-in-one design, I also use covers and inserts, and a few pocket diapers--basically, we use everything. I do get a commission from products purchased through this link! However, all opinions regarding the diapers are my own and do not reflect the views of Imagine Baby Products. Please understand: I wouldn't sign up for this program if I didn't believe in the product. If you find yourself pondering diapering purchases, please ensure you visit the Imagine website through my Advocate link!! 

Don't diaper? No problem. The demand for reusable products is high as we're all trying to do a little something to save money and save the earth. Imagine sells wet bags in three sizes. They're made for Imagine Baby Products by Planet Wise. I would have loved to have something a little more durable when we were in Florida for storing sweaty stinky clothes!

http://www.imaginebabyproducts.com/mollydolly133

Thanks so much!

You Are 3

Sweet Boy,

Tomorrow, you are 3. You've been asking about your "dirtday" for about a month now. You tell us you want "bwoons" and "cake" and "cucakes" at your "dirtday" and I love every single mispronounced word that leaves your cute mouth.

This last year....wooo-eey! I've LOVED being your mommy every single second. Through your tantrums, your cuddles, your first sentences, your first deliberate repetition of "I love you", your stumbles, your illnesses, and your first moments as a big brother. It hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't change the bad moments for a million good ones. We've learned from you and you've learned from us.

Let's see, where to begin. We measured you tonight and will make a big show of measuring you tomorrow to see how big you've grown from 2 to 3. Because 3 years old is now full on Big Boy territory. You will never be a little guy again. In the last year you have grown so much, both physically and cognitively.

We started out 2 with an Early Intervention evaluation. We were worried that your verbal language skills were lacking. You just proved to us that you were a confidence talker. Right before we started getting concerned again you started talking. And boy, do you talk. You've got a wonderful imagination. You play with McDonald's Happy Meal Transformers and they have epic battles that always end with "I sowwy" and "dat's go-kay!" You lug your many, many (oh so many) Mickey babies everywhere. They eat food, love on Eeny, and go for rides in the car with you. You love those Mickeys more than anything, even your Orange Monster couldn't hold a torch for too long against them. (Orange Monster is actually Muno from "Yo Gabba Gabba")

You are still a skinny little guy. We worry that you eat only PB&J or hot dogs. We wish you'd eat more vegetables, but your dad and I both know that you'll try them on your own time. Right now we feed you whatever you will willingly eat. We're okay with that. We were concerned that you didn't gain much weight between 2 and 2.5 years. In the last couple of months you've gained 3 pounds. This is HUGE, considering you remained so little for so long.

You adore your little sister. You can't wait for her to be big enough to play with your toys with you. You used to call her Een and now you've started calling her Eeny, which I love. I love that you have such a big heart and while you can be a selfish toddler, you are a wonderful big brother who shares toys with his sister. When you accidentally hit her with a wooden dowel, you apologized for hours, knowing that you caused her to cry. She loves you too, buddy. She might not say it, but her determination to scoot and roll to wherever you are should prove that to you.

Right now, you're screaming "MOMMY! DADDY! I MEED YOU! GET IN MY WOOM! I MEED MY DIRTDAY!" and it is adorable. I know tomorrow is going to be amazing for you. Saturday, though, is when your party is. You'll get a big surprise on Saturday morning. We decided to hold off on giving it to you because Daddy wants to see your face light up when you first see your big boy bike. You've been asking for a bike for a couple of weeks now and we are so excited to be able to give you one (of course, full disclosure, the bike is from GG and Pop Pop).

So, for now my boy, sleep. Go to bed. In the morning I'm letting you have a cupcake for breakfast. You'll take them to daycare with you and you'll eat one there. Then, I'm letting you eat cake for dinner. You'll love it, and I'll love watching you enjoy your moment. You only turn 3 once!

I love you Monkey Moo.

5 Months Old!

Nina is now 5 months old. This week has been somewhat of a disaster here on the East Coast, so I've been very busy shielding Jack from live TV. Also, it's really difficult to update my blog while holding/nursing the baby while the toddler screams for the iPad. Hey, at least this is only a day late, right?

A quick note as to the Boston Marathon bombing and following events: We were in CT driving home from NJ on Monday when the explosions happened. We live about 40 minutes west of Boston. We are not a direct suburb, and therefore remained out of harm's way during the manhunt. Todd works a little closer to the city, but his work wasn't included in the shelter in place lockdown, so he went to work Friday. We have friends and family who were on lockdown on Friday and we are thankful that they remained safe; also thankful that this week was spring break for our area and the logistics of school closures weren't added to the list of potential hazards on Friday. Thanks to the Boston Police, the various armed forces, and citizens who helped this week. It's been crazy around here.

Now, back to her cuteness: Sweet pie, Squish (surprisingly our favorite nickname), Bug, Een, Eeny! Nina goes by many names. She is active, crazy, she screeches...a lot (big brother never did, we are learning to deal with a loud baby...), she blows raspberries, says "mmmmm", and has discovered her toes.

In terms of gross motor skills, Nina sits, steamrolls across the room, and can go from sitting to belly without belly flopping on the floor. Nina does a modified army crawl; she can do arm over arm, but she also does a sort of rocking back and forth crawl. She's working on getting her butt and belly up in the air. As for fine motor skills, she's working on her pincer grasp (YAY! Almost puff time!) and follows fingers, toys, etc when they're dangled in front of her. She's skilled, that's for sure!

Baby comparison time:

Jack: rolled back-to-belly at almost 6 months, sat unassisted at exactly 6 months, and began army crawling at 7 months. He said his first word (MAMA!!!) at 5 months.

Outtakes

Nina's a bit difficult to photograph. She sees the camera (okay, she sees the iPad or my phone, very rarely our expensive "fancy" DSLR camera that we purchased specifically to get awesome pictures of our children) and gets SO EXCITED and flops and dances and reaches for whichever electronic I have.

We are going strong in our cloth diapering experience. Love, love, LOVE them this time around. We even took them with us to NJ last weekend and it worked out well. I think, though, the next time we travel I'm going to invest in a large zippered hanging wetbag. Just for transportation purposes. When we got back, our clean diapers had a funk from being in the same duffle bag as our dirty, separately bagged, diapers. Not a big deal, since it was diaper laundry day anyway. My preferred diaper is the Imagine AIO, followed quickly by the BumGenius Stay Dry AIO, followed by Best Bottom covers with gDiaper inserts. We will be investing in some hemp or cotton prefolds for the summer for a more breathable bum in our humid climate. I have a couple of Charlie Banana diapers, but they're nearly twice as much as my Imagine diapers, also I'm not too fond of the pocket style. I have a single Gro-via and I adore it, but it's not Todd's favorite. I would like more. They're super trim under her little jeans. My only concern with the Imagine diapers is that they won't quite make it weight wise through potty training. Of course, I could be wrong. Nina is still only on the middle rise and is about 17lbs and it's holding strong. I'm officially obsessed. I would only be happier if someone were to get a gift certificate to my favorite online retailer :)

Jack's been struggling with sharing lately. He's had to have the sharing talk at daycare a couple of times. We think it's because Nina is more mobile, yet still somewhat blobby, so he can just take toys from her and she rarely cares. We're working on this, but it's hard without a second kid that cares yet. He's wonderful most of the time, but we certainly have our moments. We skipped the terrible twos and are heading full on into the terrifying threes. He limp noodles in stores, screams, throws things. Oy. On the other hand, he still snuggles, is relatively agreeable. LOVES his sister. He struggles when she's napping because all he wants to do is "pway wif Eeny!"

I'm sure I'll update next month, when I have STATS for Nina. Hopefully sometime in between. Maybe. Don't get your hopes up...

4 Month Update

Nina is now FOUR. MONTHS. OLD. What the hell, Father Time, why are you stealing my baby?

She is almost sitting.

She LOOOOOVES food. She has had:

Avacado!

BANANA!

Carrots!

Peer pressure: sibling edition (AKA Jealousy)

Can anyone think of a D food to try next?

She rolls! Or, rather, she has the ability to roll. She has done it twice and we've yet to see it happen again. She gets about 3/4 of the way over now and just chills on her arm.

At today's 4 month appointment, she weighed 15lb 12.5oz. I seriously wonder if this is off because she weighs 16 pounds at home, and certainly feels like she weighs more. She is 24 inches tall. She got two shots and was a champ for both of them. We go back in a week for the next two. I am absolutely pro-vaccine, we just split them up by a week because I think 4 shots at once is a little excessive.

Swingin'

She smiles, laughs, coos, and will intently stare at you while you speak. She likes to chew on her weird looking teether, her bug beads, and her binky. She really doesn't like the binky except for when she's sleepy. She prefers to chew on her fingers, hands, Mommy's finger, or Daddy's knuckles.

She loves her big brother. Even when he bounces up to her, pokes her eyes, tells her she has a mouth, ears, nose, and butt and pokes and prods her various appendages, she adores him. Jack willingly gives Nina hugs now and OMG I die just a little from happiness whenever he says "I wuv oo, Een!"

She is still sleeping through the night.

I think we'll keep her, for realsies!

Edited 3/27: Nina popped her first tooth today! It's her bottom left tooth. Jack was 8.5 months old before he cut his first teeth, so I really wasn't expecting such an early teether! Yay! Nina!

Lack of Photographic Evidence

While I was pregnant with Nina, people warned me about second child syndrome. That I wouldn't have as many photographs, as many documented memories. I was even told not to start a scrapbook for Jack because by the time e second kid comes around, I'd be too burnt out to scrap for him or her.

I can see where people get caught up in their lives and neglect documenting the second child's life. However, I'm having the opposite problem. I feel like I'm not sharing as much of Jack's life. And the issue is that he doesn't stop moving. He won't be photographed unless he is in control of the camera. The front camera on the iPhone and iPad suck. It's not as good as the outward camera. This results in many grainy, blurry photos. Nina is so easy to take pictures of because she just lays there. Compliant. And squishy. Also, my phone is constantly within reach and taking photos is a million times easier for my generation!

My interactions with Jack are so different from a year ago. We can hold mini conversations. His life is much harder to document because it is in constant motion. By the time our day ends, his cutisms are all jumbled up in my brain. I try to share them on Facebook as they happen, but then I feel like I'm updating too often.

With Jack's third birthday quickly approaching, I'm still trying to comprehend that my tiny 7lb baby is no longer a baby, but is now a little boy. I know that he won't feel neglected when I explain that he has few photos because he was too busy enjoying life. He was too busy playing choo-choos, petting Zelza, and watching Einsteins that I just sat back and enjoyed watching him love being a kid.

Jack's sentence structure is amazing. I'm always shocked when I hear kids talk in grammatically correct sentences. I don't know why, but when little kids use pronouns I just get a kick out of it. Using "your" instead of "mommy's" is adorable in Jack's little voice. Yes, I'm bragging about my kid's brilliant use of pronouns. Deal with it!

There are so many things that just are photo worthy (or, more accurately, photo appropriate) like when Jack repeats my words, good and bad, or announces "I haffa go pee pee on the big potty!" I wish I could capture every moment of his life on camera, but it's impossible. I hope he understands this when he's older.

My neighbor almost burned down our building

I wasn't sure how to title this post in a way that expresses how scared and nervous I am for our elderly neighbor...

My neighbor across the hall is a sweet, lonely old woman. The truth is, I don't know how old she is. She could be a poorly aging 50s or in her 70s. It's hard to tell. She's very kind and has only the nicest things to say about my kids.

That being said. I can't stand talking to her. It's sad to admit this, but when I have crying babies or am on the phone the last thing I want to do is chat about my cats, or her depression, or how she is getting so old that she can't remember certain things.

Todd and I are always willing to help. Yes. Sometimes we do it reluctantly because her house is literally an episode of Hoarders and it feels dirty to experience her home. It's sad to see someone you know deteriorate over time like that.

My point is this: twice, she has come to us regarding an unfortunate stove accident. The first was a while back. I can't remember if we'd had Jack yet. For some reason she pulled all the knobs off of her stove and they were put back on the wrong posts. She had her oven and a burner swapped. She claims she never did that, but someone had to. Either way, she couldn't figure out why one of her burners was on. Surprisingly, we went over that time to check on her television, which wasn't working because she'd flipped the breaker to turn off the stove (our condos weren't wired the smartest...)

Today, she knocked on our door frantically asking if Todd could look at her stove because it was smoking. You could smell the burning before I even opened my door. She innocently told me that maybe it was her oven, she didn't know because she doesn't use it. After opening the oven door and being assaulted by plumes of smoke and the smell of burnt plastic I fished out a box of Ziplock storage bags that had melted and burned. There were also a few different colored puddles, which I'm assuming were plastic bowls of some sort. She also had a spare burner in the oven. She claimed the cleaning lady must store them there.

A couple of things were wrong in both situations. Her stove was not cleared off. There were plastic bags, dishes, plastic and paper packages all over the burners. After the first stove episode, Todd and I discussed the dangers of her being on her own, but really, what could we do about it?

I still don't know. I now have the phone number of her sister. A while back she'd mentioned a sister but they didn't seem to be very close. I'm not sure how much help she could be here. My other option would be to call social services. I worry about the latter because I'm afraid they'd put her somewhere where she'd have to surrender her cat. Silly, yes, but I've seen firsthand the improvement of her cognitive well being the cat brings her. She had to put her previous cat to sleep and I was worried about her mental state.

I just don't know where to go from here. I worry about what would happen if Todd or I weren't home. I worry that I'll drive up one day to fire trucks, or worse, that she'd start a fire while we are all still home. I can't imagine wrangling both kids and three cats out of a burning building. I know if it came to it, I'd have to let the cats go, but even thinking of making that decision kills me.

I wish we could afford to sell. I wish our mortgage weren't under water and we had more options. Maybe I should start playing the lotto. We don't need much, just enough to pay off to be able to sell. At this point, we don't even want to make money off the stupid place, we just want to be able to get out.

Jackisms

Now that Jack has been talking almost like a real person he comes up with some cute things. Today, I overheard a conversation between Todd and Jack regarding scissors.

Jack: I needa knife.
Todd: Why do you need a knife?
Jack: I gotta cut Einsteins.
Todd: I'm sorry, what? You need to cut who?
Jack: I needa cut da Einsteins.

*Todd settles into a confused silence*

Me: He said he needs to cut out his Little Einsteins.
Todd: Oh? You need scissors?
Jack: Yeah. I needa knife.
Todd: Well, I will do it for you, because these scissors are for grown ups.
Jack: NO! I do it! I gow-up! I do knife!
Todd: No, you're not grown up quite yet.

Me: *dying of laughter*

Jack has been asking me to draw the Little Einsteins lately. We've had pink Quincys and crayoned Rockets. Each time my art work has been getting a little better. I have absolutely no artistic talent, but I can draw a distinguishable June, apparently. Earlier this evening Jack had a handful of Einstein characters that he crumpled and carried around with him around the house. They went in a box, out of a box, in a "buh-et", and hid under Een on the Boppy. He asked repeatedly "Where Eye-tines go?" while looking for them. They hid from us, we found them. They played peek-a-boo with Nina.

His imagination is getting so big. He has Transformers battles in the back seat of the car. He plays with his Mickey babies. They're always dancing, eating, drinking, or sleeping.

After over a decade of storage, I allowed Jack to have my entire Beanie Baby collection. Years of conditioning to keep the tags pristine and to keep the animals in mint condition are making me twitch watching him carelessly play with them. I always knew I'd hand them down to my own kids (unless they were worth big bucks, but meh...) and the day has finally come. Also, we needed the underbed storage space.

NINA UPDATE:
For some reason, the receptionist at my doctors office was convinced that Nina needed a 3 month appointment. Turns out, they don't see babies at month 3 unless there's a problem. However, Nina was weighed and measured and she is 14lbs 6.5oz and is 23.5 inches long. She's a big girl. She's officially OUT of 3 month clothes, including pajamas.

We do cloth diapers during the day unless we're out and about. I've done cloth at night but right now we're still knee high in size 2 disposables so I'm trying to get through them. We found a system that works with her delicious thighs. However, I don't like how fluffy the cloth is in the car seat. She's still so small that the fluff in the diaper makes the car seat straps a bit looser than I'd like and if I tighten them, I find we get leaks. No big deal, we just put her in a disposable. Like Jack, she seems to only poop in the car if we're out all day. Otherwise, she waits til we're home.

She's still sleeping through the night and is one of the sweetest babies I've ever encountered. I may be biased, since she is my own kid, but she really is a pleasant baby. I want to say she's happier than Jack ever was, but that comparison also comes with experience. We know what we're doing this time around and it's resulting in happier parents and a happier baby.

Cloth 2.0

Nina is 5 days shy of turning 3 months old. Her well baby appointment is on the 25th, so I will have stats then, but I'm guessing she's close to or over 13 pounds. She's also grown in length. She's been in 6 month clothes for a couple weeks now, except she is too little for 6 month pajamas.

We've been having a bit of a blowout problem lately. We just moved her up to size 2 diapers. Just implies that I've been blogging and we're up to date. We moved her to size 2 diapers a while ago. She is on the low end of the weight range (12-18lbs, I believe) and already her chunky thighs don't really allow for a good seal so she's been shooting poop up the back of the diaper. I'm eternally grateful that we have awesome stain remover (White Wizard--It's available on Amazon, but it's nearly half as much when purchased from their own website) and we've saved several outfits. These are stains that Shout just hasn't touched. Bad. It's not even that much poop half the time. I'm sorry. In reality, my days revolve around feeding, changing, and playing with babies. Because Nina is exclusively breast fed, we have to keep track of her poop cycle so that we can avoid massive blowouts. It's fun.

So, we discussed it, and we are switching to cloth. We did this with Jack and as much as I loved it, it just didn't work for us at that time. I've always said if I started when he was younger things would have been different. Jack just doesn't care when he has a dirty diaper. Nina doesn't care so much about wet diapers, but DAMMIT WOMAN THERE'S POOP IN MY DIAPER! is about the only time she cries. (oh, fun story. Have you heard about the time I said "dammit" and my two year old repeated it for several minutes? No. I'll tell that in a bit as a break from the poop talk.) We are investing more money into cloth diapers this time. We are giving up disposables cold turkey. Well, once the diapers arrive, that is. We are intending this to be more successful than the last time.

Rocking a BumGenius Freetime AIO

Infinitely cuter than disposables

We are doing a combination of BumGenius AIO and gDiapers. I like the gDiapers during the day when we are changing her more often, but since she sleeps through the night, we wanted something more absorbent. BG Freetime was our answer, and I may invest in some GroVia AIO. She's had a bit of diaper rash for a few days and sure enough, after just a single day of cloth her rash is gone. We think she just has extremely sensitive skin; just like mama.

Just hanging out

Jack loves his Een. I heard him call her Eena a couple times and we had to nip that in the bud. Now we all call her Een. I want that to last as long as possible. He "shares" toys with her by taking them and then throwing them in her general vicinity. She took a nap in her crib for the FIRST. TIME. EVER! the other day and slept for about an hour. The entire time she was upstairs Jack would ask "where Een go? Go upstairs, get Een?"

MAMA! Een eat da toy!

She's got skills

Shake it, Een!

We have had an exciting week. Nina started laughing. We have yet to get it on camera. Mostly it's a few rough belly giggles. She also started grabbing toys, shirts, Daddy's beard, Mommy's hair, etc. She's so fascinated that she has fingers and hands. She LOVES her car seat toy, except that she cannot get it to her mouth and therefore makes her very angry. I imagine it's similar to the little bird on Jack's old Exersaucer. He tried for months to get it in his mouth. When he did, it was one of the only toys he has ever chewed on.

And, now that you've suffered through the crappy (pun intended) part of this post, read about how I taught my toddler to curse:

Jack just really started talking after Christmas. He has never repeated words when asked, or really repeated anything we say. All of his words came from Mickey Mouse, or Little Einsteins. However, shortly after we returned from NJ in December he started talking. And repeating. And oh crap, I'm pretty sure the baby just said "shit". BUT, he still never really repeated things NOT directed to him. He would occasionally repeat a sound we made (grunt from toe stubbing, OW!) until one day last week. I was frustrated from trying to get both kids up all the stairs and when we walked into the house, Jack bumped into the swing frame (what? you don't store your swing frame near the front door in your impossibly tiny hallway? weirdo...) and it fell over while I was trying to carry Nina into the house. I yelled out "DAMMIT!" and lo and behold, the kid repeated "dammit. dammit. dammit." for about 5 minutes. I was torn. Do I giggle like a maniac, because this is one word that absolutely is NOT affected by his toddler speech, or do I hold it together and ignore it so he'll stop? Decisions. Of course I cracked up and called everyone I know. Then I promptly quit and directed him to another activity. Haven't cursed in front of him since.

Now, I don't have a problem with cursing. I try not to make a big deal about it when he says it and honestly, I could care less. He's too little to understand what he says anyway. However, he is in daycare with other kids who are also in that repetitive stage of talking and I don't want their mamas mad at me. We also go to a weekly playgroup and I don't want him cursing in front of those kids either. It's one thing for me to be a bad influence on my own children, but quite another to indirectly teach another child bad manners. He doesn't repeat only bad things. He started blessing us when we sneeze, which is the cutest thing ever. He says please and thank you, often without prompting. 

Also, he repeats kindness. The other day, Nina was freaking out while I was out of the room (possibly may have locked myself in the bathroom to pee in silence) and I hear Jack say "coming Een! I coming!" Obviously, I take all the credit for his politeness as well. Because I can. (Imagine this as "come-ee Een! I come-ee!" because that last ng sound doesn't fully come out sometimes. I love it)

We have Nina's 3 month photos coming up, so hopefully I can carve out a few minutes to myself in the next couple weeks to blog and share those when I get them back. I've been steadily sharing photos on Instagram and Facebook lately, so it's not like there's much that I'm not telling.

Nina's 2 Month Stats

Nina had her 2 month appointment and weighed in at 12 lbs, 3 ounces and was 22 inches long. Compared to Jack who was 12 lbs, 4 ounces and 22 inches long. They're roughly the same size. Huh. Nina seems so much chunkier. (The shock is sincere, I looked it up as I am typing this out.)

She is smiling, growing, eating, fussing. She's wonderful, honestly. We had one horrible night that involved gas, a bit of constipation (when people tell you EBF babies don't get constipated, I'm here to tell you it's okay to punch them in the mouth. They're wrong) and once we got through the night she was pleasant as could be. The only think I can think of is that we had butternut squash the day before and maybe that made her excessively gassy. Nothing else I ate was new.

I am down 9 pounds (with clothing on, 12 without) from my pre-baby weight. I honestly think it's a bit of giving up fast food (makes the wee one HORRIBLY gassy) and coke. Coke, my lifeblood, my first love, had to be given up because the caffeine gives me headaches. We'll see how long my exhaustion headaches last before giving in again. I've been drinking sweet tea instead. Could be the natural vs processed ingredients, who knows?

We've all been sick this week. Nina wound up in the ER a week ago Saturday because she was having retractions with her breathing. She got nebulized, a chest x-ray, and some high powered moisturized air. We were sent home with instructions to continue nebulizing her. We're a week in now and she is doing a million times better. She never seemed bothered by her cough or the cold in general. Never got a fever. Continued sleeping through the night (minus the one night with the gas/constipation).

Jack spiked a near 104 fever (103.6) that lasted from Sunday thru Tuesday. His cough kept him home from daycare on Friday because he was getting to the point where it would cause him to vomit. Note: I don't do vomit. Blech. Thankfully, it only happened twice and he's learned to take a drink when he starts going. He also politely covers his mouth when he coughs. So, he seems to be doing better. His face is still quite chapped, causing him to look a bit leperous. He keeps wiping at it and won't let me put anything on it. He tells me he needs the "boo-ies out!" but he doesn't have any so I'm thinking his chapped nose/upper lip is driving him bonkers.

I am much better, but the subfreezing temperatures have been making me miserable. Our house sits between 67-70 degrees and I just can't get warm. Jack runs around in a shirt and diaper or bare bottom and I'm buried under 5 blankets (I'm not a bad mom, he just refuses to wear pants...) I don't get kids.

I also managed to injure my back somehow. Oh, that's fun. I was able to get my first chiropractic adjustment this week. There was almost instant relief in my ribs. My back was still a bit tender, but over the next day and a half started feeling much better. Then we left the house and I messed it up all over again. I think it's from lifting Nina's carseat and bearing the weight all on one side. I don't remember it happening with Jack, but like my doctor said, my body has likely gotten used to carrying Jack around and is unprepared for the stress of the carrier. If it weren't BELOW FREEZING I would ditch the carrier seat and switch her into her convertible carseat, but the convenience of the carrier in 20 degree (or lower) weather is pretty much necessary right now. She's layered in blankets and her fleece carseat cover and never realizes she's freezing. When it starts to warm up a bit I will just start putting her in warmer clothing and carry her down the stairs to the car.

I really meant this post to just be Nina's stats and a picture. So, here's the picture. Enjoy the cold. Wish for snow! (because if it's going to be this freaking cold, it may as well be pretty outside, too!)

Nina's Birth Story

Now that Nina is nearing 2 months, I have time to document her birth story. It was mostly uneventful, but I want to have it written down so that I don't forget later.

In some ways, Nina's birth was more anxiety ridden than Jack's. Not that there were any complications, but that I had time to anticipate being cut open. With Jack's birth, our worry was my blood pressure; then, it was the face that he would be a "late term preemie"; and then finally, it was the fact that he went into distress with each push. With Nina, I was able to go 39 weeks even with blood pressure issues.

We had to wake up at 6 AM to head to the hospital. My c-section was scheduled for 8:30 so we had to be there no later than 6:30. I am absolutely NOT a morning person. I hate mornings. It usually takes me a while to wake up and be perky enough for the day. The morning of Nina's birth was surprisingly normal. I took a couple of Tylenol PM the night before and actually got a decent night's sleep.

We got to the hospital, met our wonderful day nurse and the anesthesiologist. When we arrived, I didn't know who was going to be doing my surgery. As of the previous Friday, my doctor still didn't know if she planned on taking the day off or if she'd come in just for my surgery. The anesthesiologist was the best. He put in my IV and walked me through the medications, how he would administer them, what their affects on me would be. He numbed my hand, which is something the nurses don't do routinely.

When 8:30 came and went, we found out that the doctor performing my surgery was in another surgery but was finishing up. The doctor who did Nina's c-section was the same doctor that did my ectopic surgery. I saw him a couple of times during my pregnancy with Jack. Having a face that I knew, and trusted, made me much more able to relax. At around 9, the nurse and anesthesiologist came back to escort me to surgery. Let me say this: having the first scheduled surgery of the day has its advantages. I had to walk myself to surgery, which I knew about. My anesthesiologist allowed Todd to come in and hold my hands during my spinal placement. My nurses were surprised, as this isn't a normal practice, but they were pleased that the doctor was comfortable enough to allow it. I think our laid back approach to this surgery helped a lot. We weren't hyped up, Todd isn't the fainting type, and he was nice.

Now...the spinal vs an epidural placement. There was a difference. The spinal hurt more. But, it wasn't a horrible stinging injection. It was a lot of pressure. As far as I know, I was only poked one time. Todd got commended for being a good coach. After the placement, Todd got to help me lay down and then was escorted to the top of my head. My arms were strapped down and the doctor came in.

Because I had time to think about, and prepare myself (ha!) mentally for this surgery, I shook much more than when I had my c-section with Jack. I did get nauseated. I didn't throw up, and in turn received some pretty heavy duty anti-nausea meds. They were nice. I joked throughout this surgery. I complimented the doctor on my ectopic scars, told him I was thankful and happy that he was doing my surgery, and was overall pleasant. The nurses were surprised I was calm.

The biggest physical difference between Jack's and Nina's birth is the trauma. Jack was in a birthing position. He was 10 oz smaller, and easier to get out. Nina was wedged deep into my pelvis and up into my right ribs. It took a lot of work to get her out. I would say there was a solid 2 minutes of pushing and pulling. It's when I got the most sick. I was holding my breath because I was uncomfortable. I KNOW I'm not supposed to do this. I let the doctors know and was given some additional meds.

When Nina finally emerged, she screamed bloody murder. It was announced she was indeed a girl and Todd got to take photos. She continued to voice her displeasure. When she was finally dried off, weighed, and swaddled she was handed to Todd. He held her while I was closed up. When I was done with my surgery and transferred back to my original bed, the nurses handed me Nina and she got to ride with me back to my room where I was able to immediately start nursing. Jack was what they call a "late-term preemie" and despite his high APGAR scores, he had to go to the nursery before we were able to hold him. I don't think it affected our bonding or nursing, as he nursed for 13 months and is still quite the mama's boy. I went home only about 50 hours after surgery with the promise that I'd take it easy. I wanted to be home for Thanksgiving. I did relax. I didn't really even need pain medication after about Friday.

I can honestly say that, though I've had two completely different births, they were both calm with easy recoveries. Even though Jack's surgery was an emergency c-section, I never felt anxious that anything would go wrong. I never focused on the negative, just that he had to come out one way or another and I'd take whatever I could get. With Nina, I did worry (a lot...), but the team I had in the operating room helped put any worries I'd had to rest. They were calm, they laughed at my jokes (always necessary in potentially high risk situations), and I had a doctor I trusted.

Catching Up

I've started about 4 different entries, stopped to do something (care for children, find something for husband, remember to eat...) and forget about my poor blog. Top it off with not having enough time to compose, edit, and add photos and you've got nothing. Add the ever frustrating lack of photo placement tool in the iPad app, and I'm just not bothered enough.

So. It's the new year. 2013. Good things to come, I hope. Nina is 8 weeks old today. She's a chunk, loved by all, and has been smiling for a couple of weeks now. Gorgeous, light-up-the-world, gloriously toothless smiles! We love them, and cannot get enough of them. We fall in love all with this little girl, over and over again, everyday. She's a calm baby, for the most part. We will get to her quirks.

Her 2 month well baby is on the 21st, so I don't have an accurate weight, but she's in the 12 lb. range. The general rule for weight gain in the first year is to have tripled baby's birth weight. Nina is well on her way. She is a fantastic little eater, and holds the record for furthest distance spitting up (for our house, at least). We think she may have a slight bit of reflux. She sleeps well during the day, and will happily sleep on the floor, in the pack n play, in her bouncy, in someone's arms, but when it comes to nighttime she gets too fussy to sleep flat on her back. She's been sleeping propped on boppy in our bed for quite some time. We have no problem keeping her in our bed with us, I would just like to break her from sleeping on boppy before she starts really moving around at night. We are researching options right now. I think we will venture out and purchase a rock n play. I've heard good things. She wouldn't sleep in her bassinet (thankfully, I found it for $35 at our local kids consignment shop) and I think that was a comfort issue. Too soft. She likes the pack n play, but our bedroom lacks space. Travel lite pack n plays are stupidly expensive for our use, double the price of our current pack n play!

As far as our initial concerns about her temperament, she has mellowed out considerably. She can be calmed and fed by daddy now (oh thank the heavens above, I was ready to return her for being daddy defective!!) and I'm sure if I were able to, I'd be able to nap while Todd has her. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to miss something, apparently, and cannot nap while my kids are awake!

Jack is amazing with Nina. He is gentle, loving, and playful with her. I think he gets a bit frustrated that she's not big enough to play back yet. He likes to out his face right up next to hers and screams and giggles when she accidentally touches him. She smiles at his reactions. I'm sure they'll be good toddler friends. I hope they'll be good friends later in life, as well.

I'm actually going to post this (right now, I swear! I will update with Jack stats later), but please forgive the lack of photos. I assume anyone reading this blog is also a FB/IG friend and sees our many photos there. It's 1:20 am, babies are sleeping, and now mama's brain is allowed to shut down.