I'm going to Seattle in a week. Right after a new semester has begun. At a new school. Why, you may ask? Because I withdrew from school. I've been asked why by a few different people and we've told a couple of people, but not many outside of family and a few friends.
This was not an easy decision to make. After much discussion, Todd and I decided it would be more budget friendly and possibly make me happier if I withdrew from school until Jack and hypothetical baby number 2 were in school as well. Yes, we are going to start trying for another baby.
After the shock of the ectopic pregnancy and learning that the odds became much higher to have recurring ectopics, we decided to quit being carefree and monitor my cycles, actually focus on knowing if and when I get pregnant to monitor the possibility that it could be a second ectopic. I don't want to lose my remaining tube or have any additional surgeries, causing scar tissue and recuperation and pain medication that pretty much renders me useless. I was lucky the last time, but just barely. I don't want to nearly lose my life again.
It seems silly and very anti-feminist, to put off school to have more babies, but I am happy being a homemaker/housewife. I enjoy being home with Jack everyday. Despite the isolation, I really do find that I am most happy when we snuggle up together in the morning and watch Mickey Mouse. I love being home and with him for every new thing he learns. I want the same for the eventual second child as well.
People have asked me how Todd feels about this. Honestly, it was his idea and it's been Todd who has said "if we only knew how amazing of a stay at home mom you would be, I wouldn't have pushed you so hard to go back to school." He has said this since I broke down at the thought of putting Jack into daycare. Until this semester, I felt as though by not finishing, I would be letting Jack down. Well, I'm not. I made it this far, and have seen countless other moms put themselves through school after their kids are a bit older, and am confident that my decision will make Jack realize how much I have already sacrificed, just for him.
*hugs* You had mentioned withdrawing from school so casually that I forgot to ask you for details! Being a feminist means being able to choose what you do with your life, and what you have chosen is perfectly valid and perfectly good! If you need any inspiration, you could talk to my mom. She has been back to college twice since having kids, each time upgrading her career.
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