Let me tell you a story

Today kind of sucked.

I woke up after having a terrible dream that Jack was switched at birth. We apparently all knew about the switch and wanted our kids to remain in the homes they have been in. Then, the other couple's baby died or disappeared or whatever. They wanted Jack back. Yeah. Fun dream.

Needless to say, the first thing I did when Jack woke up was squeeze him nearly to death.

After that, the morning was normal. Showered, Todd fed the baby and then left for work. While I was blow drying my hair, I started feeling a bit funny and then my peripheral vision in my right eye went away. My bathroom is tiny and usually I am able to see myself in both mirrors to do the back of my hair. I could no longer see myself in the right medicine cabinet mirror. I stopped drying my hair, took the baby downstairs, waited about 5 or so minutes to see if it would go away and then I panicked. I called Todd, called the doctor and then sought out an optometrist to see what the hell was going on.

I suffer from optical migraines. Awesome.

However, before I got that lovely diagnosis, Todd and I were sitting in the waiting area and couldn't help but overhear another patient's conversation with the reception staff (note, by overhear, we were definitely NOT eavesdropping, this woman was SCREAMING her personal details.)

She's got three kids. 6, 2, and ten months. This is important. (She forgot the photos, sadly, so we weren't privy to a slideshow.) Her sister has two kids, I missed the first age but the second is just two weeks apart from the woman's youngest. Before she had her SURPRISE baby, she found out she was pregnant with triplets. Great. I was beginning to feel badly for her until she said the following "I panicked. I was terrified. Then, a couple of weeks later, I began bleeding and found out we lost one of the babies. After that, our next ultrasound revealed what is known as a "vanishing twin" and I was somewhat relieved that I was only having the one. I mean, I'd love two more kids, but not at once."

THIS IS NOT EVEN THE "BEST" PART

Her sister, the one who's also got a 10 month old? She was pregnant with TWINS! And had an ectopic pregnancy. Seriously? WTF is wrong with these women? They breed like schnauzers. So, the doctors recommended having the pregnancy terminated but the woman apparently declined, hoping for the best. The ectopic apparently cleared up on its own and she ended up with a healthy baby girl. Still has both her tubes and will probably go on to bear perfectly healthy natural sextuplets late next year. Geez...

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish any ill will on these woman, but after suffering through two years of infertility, a risky pregnancy and a somewhat risky delivery, I get a bit uneasy when woman begin flaunting their naturally occurring multiple pregnancies that miraculously turn into the so desired single births. Yes, I am a bit bitter. I also find it a bit rude that this woman was airing her business in a doctor's office. All I could do was just look at Todd with tears in my eyes. I was suffering through one of the worst migraines of my life and this woman's stories just broke my heart in two.

I never meant for this blog to turn into a "woe as me" infertility blog, but unfortunately this is simply where my life is at the moment. I'm sure this won't be my last entry on how my struggles have affected me. I have lingering issues with my infertility struggle and following ectopic pregnancy and I'm sure during the course of trying for a second baby, I will have serious doubts when it comes to my conceiving said baby.