Pregnancy Woes

Yesterday I had a blood pressure check. This was a particularly stressful check as Jack was out of daycare, Todd had to drive me because I keep having dizzy spells, I was worried I'd be scolded by the nurse for not calling in over the weekend for my random dizzy/nausea/contraction spells. My blood pressure was high: 140/68 and it was determined that I need to relax.

Here's the deal: I am relaxed. Well, physically, I do NOTHING. I swear. My contractions happen when I walk up the stairs, similar to how my BH happened when I walked up the big hill at school while pregnant with Jack. And a week later, I was diagnosed with having high blood pressure. The weekly checks are keeping me calm because I know my doctor and nurses are taking me seriously. I drink more water than I ever imagined drinking (we're talking upwards of 100oz/day), I try to eat healthy(ish--I have cravings), and I spend every extra moment possible laying on my left side. The last few days I just can't shake the feeling that something is off.

Discussing it with my doctor and nurses, I am doing everything right. When it comes down to it, PIH can't really be avoided. I can only attempt to keep my stress level down to keep me sane. I am trying. It doesn't help that I have a suicidal two-year old normal boy toddler, half working A/C, our mortgage company keeps pushing back our closing and that my nesting instincts must be pushed back with the closing because of finances. Sure, I could nest other ways (like laundry, cleaning, organizing with what I've got) but I look at the current state of things and can't get past how I want things eventually and it's so much easier just to ignore what needs to be done until I have the means to do it as I want. I am imagining the kids room organized and without storage solutions, I am left with piles or boxes of stuff to be put elsewhere when I can actually get something done. Piles that Jack routinely destroys, so what's the point?

The kitchen counter and table are always covered in stuff. I don't even know. It's mail?? I think. Possibly some books and assorted paperwork that needs to remain at hand but isn't vitally important to our day to day life (mortgage stuff, they keep sending us new paperwork every time they change the date. We probably have four copies of the same thing where the only difference is the date). My most recent insane plan is to store the kitchen table and turn the dining room into an office/playroom. Because I'm insane, apparently. Also, it would be nice to have a block and rock free area for Nina to be safe from Jack's cyclonic tendencies. I really should post some before and after time stamped photos. I was accused recently of probably having a spotless house all the time. I have no idea where the hell this person got that idea. I do everything I can to avoid cleaning. Actually, he compared my OCD present wrapping tendencies to my house cleaning. Pretty sure he's thinking because I can wrap a present with perfect corners that I must be Martha Stewart. I just enjoy pretty wrapping.

I know I just got back from vacation, but I think I need a break. Disney World was awesome, but I still had a small child to worry about. I had to watch him, feed him, change him. In my mind, a vacation is a break from all of that. I know Todd is doing his best to try and help me out and he's been more intuitive lately than he has been before. However, I can see that even he is starting to stress about what's going to happen in 3 1/2 months and how our home is so NOT ready to bring a newborn into. Also, he's been taking over a lot of Jack duties on the weekends and is starting to realize why I am snippy every night. Everything is sort of thrown into chaos right now. We're in this financial and planning limbo until we know what's going on with our mortgage. The money we plan on saving each month from the refinance is already virtually spent through the end of the year and each time the date gets pushed back we have to knock something off our want list. In the meantime, he suggests that I start lists. One for things that need to get done around the house (omg organizing, new baby gate so Jack can have access to the upstairs bathroom once we get him potty trained but still keep him out of the cat food, move the shelves, just for example) and one for things we need before the baby arrives (which isn't much beyond a double stroller and her bedding and some winter essentials). We have an Amazon wishlist started for her of things that I have deemed somewhat necessary for her arrival. The grandmas have forbidden me from purchasing additional clothing for her.

In the grand scheme of things, we're mostly prepared. She has a bed, kind of. She won't actually be using the crib until we've established nursing and some sort of sleep schedule. We have the carseat, which is probably the most important thing since you're not allowed to leave the hospital without one. We have blankets and a swing and a "plan" for what happens when she comes home (read: follow her cues, what the hell do you mean "plan" she's a newborn, morons, it's her job to make you crazy). Of course, I'll have help. Todd's mom will be here from the week before she's due until as close to Christmas as I can convince her to stay.

I just can't write anymore. I'm aware of what a whiny post this is, because god woman, just get off your ass and do a load of laundry. But, I'm stuck. I just can't right now. Watching Mickey Mouse with my two-year old just seems like a much better plan.