As we're all quite aware, I'm VERY new to the whole blog world. I think it's both neat and creepy that I can read about other people's lives.
Today, using the "next blog" button, I stumbled upon this blog and my heart breaks for this family.
I can only imagine how impossibly hard it is to lose a child mere months after he or she is born. What makes this horrible tragedy 10x worse is that the baby was lost to SIDS. Ever since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I researched until my eyes bled on how to prevent SIDS from happening. We do it all: we sleep with the air on, Jack wears jammies that are light and airy, but will keep him warm if the temperature drops low. We use a fan to oscillate "stale" air and ensure that there is good air flow in his room. Most importantly, we keep him on his back.
But what happens when babies start rolling over in their sleep? I am thankful-despite my secret worries that my child is "stunted"-that Jack has not learned to roll over yet. How can a mother prevent tummy sleeping at night? I certainly can't stay up all night if I'm to be expected to actually care for said child in the morning.
After reading Ayden's story, I feel so much more love for my family. This family has reminded me that the most important thing in this world is love...and the human ability to learn and grow from even the most unpredictable, unpreventable tragedies.
Thank you for your compassion. SIDS terrified me as well, which why I grappled with God after we lost Ayden. I would tell Him over and over, "You KNEW this terrified me! WHY would you allow it to happen??" Part of me even began to believe I caused it to happen out my fear. I know that isn't true, but grief causes your mind to go all sorts of places. Ayden rolled over earlier than we expected and had just begun rolling over 3 days before he passed away. The strange thing, though, is that when he would roll over, he had perfect control of his head, and he knew how to roll back over if he needed to. That brings me to believe it was a true case of SIDS...sudden, quick, and not due to him being on his side/stomach. None of that brings me comfort though because he's still gone. My beautiful, healthy, smiley boy is gone. Although I know he's waiting for me in Heaven, it's tough to know I have to continue this life without him. Thank you for sharing our story and for remembering Ayden.
ReplyDelete